He Didn't Want Children, At First...

They both seem happy dating other people. And people constantly grow and change even with in a marriage. If someone decides to have a kid, they may regret not having that kid in the long run. Leading to resentment and an unhappy unhealthy marriage.

Completely agree with PP. I think the couple in the story made the right decision for their futures. Having or not having children isn’t something that you can compromise on. If my FW decided that she no longer wanted children, that would be a deal breaker for me.

Being childfree is a huge part of a marriage. If he decided he wanted kids I would dip out sooo quick.

I've been through this twice now. With my ex-husband, I started out thinking I didn't want children--in large part, because my mother's attitude was that if you had children, you should give up your career and stay home with them. Only after he assured me that we could have a full-time housekeeper and I could continue my career did I agree to marry him and have children.

When I met NotFroofy, she was adamant that she didn't want children. However, several years later, she did. It would have been really difficult for me, once my children were already grown, to start over with a new baby in my 50s. But the issue got resolved because our finances were so terrible that we just couldn't afford a child.

Children/no children is a huge deal breaker for me. Granted we already have kids together, but had we not and he didn't want kids, we wouldn't be together still. I've always wanted kids and I would have regretted missing out on that experience and knowing myself, I'd probably grow bitter and resentment towards my FH if we went into marriage both wanting kids and then he decides he doesn't.

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Thanks for sharing.

How would you respond if your spouse who once wanted children changed his/her mind?

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My husband and I have discussed this and we are both okay either way, with or without children. We are thankful that we are on the same page with this.

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Can you explain this part: "Being childfree is a huge part of a marriage"?

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I can see how having differences in this situation could cause a huge rift in a marriage. Thankfully your situations resolved themselves.

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I can definitely understand how resentment would develop. I wonder if a compromise would be in order to make the marriage work.

View Quoted Comment Lol it means I’m stupid and didn’t see the autocorrect 🤣😂🤣

Fr tho we’ve planned a majority of our lives and goals around being independent and free of such a burden like having children. We have started planning for early retirement with a large part of that coming from our DINK lifestyle. To me, it would mean he didn’t want to work towards our shared goal anymore so we’d be done.

As someone who has two children all I can offer is this: Never ever bully someone into having a baby nor should you expect someone, like Mrs BDG, to bear one just because you want one. It is 24/7 FOREVER and if you are not 100% into it, don't do it.

I do know of a few couples who were told by their fiances that no, I don't want kids. And the other one was so delusional they thought they could change their minds! They all divorced.

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Oh I see, thank you for clarifying.

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I appreciate your advice.