Having two maid of honors! Help!

I don’t know that you owe her an explanation. It’s common to have both a maid and matron. If she asks, then you can get into particulars but I wouldn’t stress about it.

I would recommend letting them know that you're asking them to be co-maids of honor (so they know they're not the MOH, but a co-MOH). I would agree that you don't necessarily need to explain why you're asking 2 people, but rather just let them know that you'd love to have the 2. I would recommend starting the letter with something like "I really value our friendship, and I would love to have you by my side as I marry the love of my life. I would love to have you as my matron/maid of honor, and I think you and [insert other co-MOH's name here] would be the perfect bridal party. I can't wait to spend time with you and celebrate while honoring the friendship that we've had for the past XYZ years!" I wish you the best of luck!

Why do you need to specify? I have to MOH (my sister & my bestfriend) I simply just told them that they both were my MOH there was no explanation needed

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View Quoted Comment Thank you for the advice ☺️

View Quoted Comment I guess because one would have to do more than the other. I just thought it would be a good idea idk I’m new to this lol

I am having 2 Maids of Honor. One is my cousin (Amy) who is like my sister and lives in California while I am in Connecticut. (She moved to California while in the Marine Corp but grew up with me). The other is my lifelong best friend since I was 5 who lives in CT. Amy told me a long time ago that she would not be able to fulfill all the MOH duties and I should make my friend my MOH. But that didn’t feel right to me to just have her as a bridesmaid either. My friend and Amy know each other well and I asked them both and have also asked Amy what she wanted to be a part of, given the distance. I don’t expect nor want her to feel obligated to fly back and forth for every little thing. I would tell them both and come up with a clear plan on who wants to be part of what so no feelings get hurt.

I am also have two MOHs. My sister (who lives across the country) and my best friend (who lives 2 hours away). When I asked them I used “co-MOH” language so they knew it was a shared job.



When we get down to the nitty gritty of planning things or parties we’ll talk about who is taking the lead on what to ensure there aren’t toes being stepped on and it allows my sister across the country to be involved without feeling like she has to fly in for every little thing.

But all they heard from me was the co-MOH part I didn’t tell them that is was because of distance or anything like that (it wasn’t for me but it just happens to help that situation). Sometimes if you are too specific about why you chose it can lead to hurt feelings. I think focus on why they are important enough to you to be a co-MOH and not just a bridesmaid.

Technically I was told a Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor have the same roles. The Maid of honor is a single woman and a Matron of honor is a married woman. I would just tell the both of then that they are important to me and I wa t both to have tha special title! Although you don't have to explain yourself

I agree with everyone else that it's fine and pretty common to have two. Just ask them because they are important to you, let them know up front they are a "co" (just so they don't get their feelings hurt later because of misunderstanding), and don't explain why you made this decision other than that you care about them and want them by your side. Definitely do not explain to either one that you feel like you need two because one will be available to "help" more than the other.

You don't really need a big explanation. Just ask them. Do they know about each other? I had a maid and matron of honor. I would have had two maids of honor if one wasn't married. They were both my best friends. It's perfectly acceptable to have two just like it's acceptable to have two best friends.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! I like this idea!!

View Quoted Comment Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.

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View Quoted Comment Thank you for the advice ☺️

View Quoted Comment They actually do not know each other at all, I’ve been friends with one for 14+ years and she lives in California who is married. And the other MOH I’ve known for 5 years and she knows about my best friend but they have never met and she not married.

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Yeah I get that. I actually meant know of each other. Like do they both know about each other and that they're both your best friend. My 2 best friends hadn't met either until the bridal shower. Either way, I think they both should be supportive. The co-MOH advice is good because I actually think that's how I worded it when I asked.

View Quoted Comment Good luck!! 🍀

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The people you honour in your wedding party don't really have to "do" anything. They show up in the dress of your choice and pose for photos. You definitely can have a MOH and Matron of Honour, no worries there.