Having trouble deciding on what type of wedding to have

I guess I'm wondering why you feel you "won't see the majority of people again," even though they're family? Are they not close? Do they live far away? The family dynamics can help a lot when choosing if you need to invite these people at all.

View Quoted Comment Our families for the most part are scattered, so I hardly see mine, he hardly sees his, etc. having something more festive would mean meeting some people for the first time, which isn’t bad, but afterwards I’m pretty sure it would be a once in a blue moon sort of reunion.

View Quoted Comment If you truly never see them/haven't met them, and don't expect to see them again, I wouldn't invite them. Have the intimate wedding you want. Maybe a few will send you a gift and well wishes, maybe not, but in the era of COVID I think people are understanding if you want to have a small event.

I completely get where you’re coming from. Our list was originally a little over 80 and last fall we decided to cut the list based on closeness. We are actually still very excited and don’t feel we will have any regrets because all of the key people will be in attendance and that’s all we ever wanted. We never wanted our wedding to feel like a family reunion. Just because you’re related they must be invited. We want a list about how close we are. How well they know us. Have they spent time with the both of us. So when I imagine our day it warms my heart. I also understand what you mean about weddings and funerals being full of people you would never see again or at least go years before you do. My mother’s side of the family haven’t seen me in almost 8 years which is the entire length of fh and my relationship. Others we haven’t seen since the last family emergency. I personally don’t believe a wedding has to be large to be wonderful. I think society has engrained that into the wedding industry. But covid is forcing couples to truly evaluate their relationships with their guests and put more attention to making the wedding intimate and personable. I’d much rather have the most important people around me rather than guests added to give fluff if that makes any sense.

Yes. It has been a rollercoaster ride the whole time. Our wedding is this Saturday with 45-50 people attending. Originally we had 110.
I have gone ALL through the emotions, and have come to realize that I prefer the smaller guest list. I realized that I didn’t like the idea of 110 people starting at me, and the logistics of figuring out so many people.
When is your wedding? I will say that with so many people becoming vaccinated it has been a HUGE relief for us. Depending on when your wedding, you might not have to worry about Covid quite as much. You are not alone, and I know it’s a weird position to be in....It’s not easy to prioritize family and friends.

In my 20’s, I would have wanted 100+ guests. When I finally got married in my 40’s, my hubby & I were super excited to have a smaller guest list so we could splurge on the overall experience and spend more time with our close friends & family. We had a micro destination wedding in our same state (15 guests), and a local reception a few months later (50 guests).

Even before COVID, I knew I wanted a small wedding just because I saw all the stress and money that goes into planning a huge wedding. That is why I am planning a microwedding because I only wanted the people who truly matter to be there for when I say "I do". And at the end of the day we wanted to do something that made us happy.