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Just Said Yes April 2023

Having trouble dealing with the fact that we can’t afford a better/nicer wedding

Dillon, on June 30, 2022 at 8:22 PM Posted in Community Conversations 2 12
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My fiance and I are getting married next April in a backyard wedding on a relative's property. Due to financial issues related to the pandemic and some previous student loan debt, we can't have the wedding we want. We aren't that young, I'm 37 and my fiance is 35 and we are both behind in many ways in life. We aren't homeowners, but are hoping to at some point. He has never been able to travel and has never been on a plane. Due to finances, we won't be going on a honeymoon.

Last weekend, we went to a wedding in which the couple are both 25 and it was a very nice wedding. I'm not sure if the couple received help from their parents as I know the groom's father has a high salary. This couple also owns a home. I was sad afterwards as my FI and I are still very much behind in life. I'm dreading our wedding because everything is done very much on a budget with cheap stuff for centerpieces, decorations, etc. It's embarrassing to know people younger than us were able to have a much nicer wedding.

A part of me wishes we would have waited a couple of more years to save up money. My FI didn't want to wait. I know this is ridiculous to be sad over, but FOMO is very real for us. It sort of stings we won't have a honeymoon or any other event wedding related.



12 Comments

Latest activity by Sloane, on July 11, 2022 at 11:54 AM
  • R
    Rosebud ·
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    Your feelings are completely valid and I m sorry you can't have the wedding of your dreams. I know its hard but try to remember the wedding is just a day hopefully you are marrying the person of your dreams and will have an incredible marriage. Just because someone else's life/wedding looks amazing it doesn't mean it is everyone is battling something. My grandmother always used to say comparison is the thief of joy, instead try to focus on the positive things and make your day as joyful and special as you can. Congrats on your upcoming wedding, happy planning Smiley smile

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  • Monique
    Rockstar October 2022
    Monique ·
    • Flag
    Hi Dillon dont be too hard on yourself we all do it once we get engaged that we have to have a big fancy wedding. But honey you both can still have a nice one have you ask around if anyone will help you both. With decor or food and cake and drinks and dont need a big number of ppl. And never compare yourself to what someone else may have. And yes able that young couple did have help but as you said life happened. Me and my FH are paying our wedding as well my dear you can look online like I did and find sales and also some bridal shops have a sales rack or cancelation on dresses. I found alot of things and not going to fancy from table liens to glass and dinnerware my flowers are not real but like it tho. Some ppl will spend money on real flowers and if that's what they that's ok too. We are doing our own centerpieces doing our bridal bouquets and groomsmen bountaires. Find a very nice venue we had to push back our date. And now we will be getting married Oct of this year. My FH just wanted to elope and go to the justice of piece. But I was able to change his mind we are also up in age we are going to be 50yrs this year. And we have things also that we need to take care and we will. We are not home owners either and we chose not be if you have a friend that has a backyard ask them if you can have your wedding there. Cheer up I'm know that things will turn around And believe in you both
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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
    • Flag
    Hi Dillon, I’m sorry you’re feeling this way although I completely understand. FOMO is very real and I think we get so caught up with what others have we forget how far we have come. Oh the bright side of things you both are able to have a wedding and you’ll be able to spend the rest of your life with the love of your life. I think that’s the most important part. Also, by having the backyard wedding you’re able to save and not be in more debt. Maybe later down the line you both can save up and go on a really nice honeymoon to make up for your wedding. Just a thought. But know everything will work out. Wishing you all the best.
    • Reply
  • Ashlee
    Rockstar September 2022
    Ashlee ·
    • Flag

    Join local facebook groups for brides, and check fb marketplace, at least in my area there are ALWAYS things being sold for weddings. That way you can hopefully save some money. Also Amazon prime day is the 12 & 13th of july, look for deals then, same with black Friday deals. Ask family and friends who are crafty if they're willing to help. Hobby Lobby's fake flowers are 50% off every other week, they have premade pieces, garlands, or bunches to make your own bouquets. If any of your friends have a cricut, maybe they'll be willing to help you with some projects. There are a lot of DIY options to make your wedding stand out and be beautiful without being expensive. My FH and I weren't able to book the honeymoon we wanted right away, so we were just planning on renting a cabin about 2 hours from home for a couple nights, but we ended up getting a really good deal on a cruise (a couple hundred each) so we were able to splurge (for us) on that.

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  • Ashlee
    Rockstar September 2022
    Ashlee ·
    • Flag

    Check with local grocery store floral departments and bakeries for their cost on flowers/cakes too, a lot of times theyre a LOT cheaper than specialty shops and just as good of quality.

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  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K ·
    • Flag

    Hey I had the same kinds of feelings as well. I was 33 when I married my husband who's in his 40s. It all felt very much inadequate. I didn't even really get to pick out my own dress we were so strapped for cash. My dad bought me a dress from wish. Yes, a $16 dress from Wish that I wasn't even sure was going to fit or work. It didn't come in until 2 days before the wedding and I was thinking of going on my wedding day, because that's the day I got paid, to find a cute sundress or something. SOMETHING that would work. We didn't have decorations, my bouquet and the flowers and stuff were all faux and cobbled together from craft supplies. A restaurant worked with us on a paired down menu and our cakes were just regular cakes.

    But let me tell you something, it was one of the best days of my life. Less vendors and things to mess with meant less worries. There wasn't a set up or tear down. We had hired a photographer building her portfolio for pictures of the "important stuff." And it came out great. It looked nice. everyone had a good time. For a honeymoon we booked a one night staycation in a jacuzzi room and ordered pizza. Once the day is over and done you'll look back and think it was great because love was in it.

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  • R
    Rosebud ·
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    Absolutely love this replySmiley heart Your day sounds amazing and so special, congrats to you.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2022
    Amanda ·
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    Good morning. 🌸 Take a step back and count your blessings. 1) You have a wonderful man who loves you, and who you love in return. 2) You both are ready to take that next step and commit your lives to one another. 3) You have the opportunity to get married on someone’s property. It’s an affordable option that is available and ready for a wedding. Smiley smile


    The world does a good job at making people feel like they aren’t enough, or don’t have enough, that you need the next best thing. It can be a joy sucker. I really encourage you to compare yourself to those less fortunate than you are, and make a list of all the beautiful things you do have to be grateful for. It’s ok to feel emotions, it’s natural, but perspective is key. Do the best with what you have, and enjoy the time with the people who are able to attend. 💗 After the wedding you can focus on saving for a home, or whatever goals you have. You never know what tomorrow will bring, so try not to let your mind wander to far in these moments of worry or fomo.
    Also, some things that might be affordable for youSmiley atonishedola wood flowers. You can get bags of 100 flowers for about $27, and then get some paint to dye them & wire stems. Good will has tons of vases, very inexpensive. You can have beautiful centerpieces at a fraction of the cost.
    Instead of a traditional cake, how about a small cutting cake and yummy cupcakes?
    My friend rented a wedding dress instead of buying one, and she saved a lot of money.
    It’ll all work out! I hope that you have a wonderful wedding day, filled with love, joy and gratitude. 💗💕🙏🏻
    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I just want to say you're not "behind". every person in life has a different tempo to how their life is and some people's are faster, some others aren't. but at the end of the day the beat to which your life goes is meant to be for you and it'll work out eventually Smiley smile

    anyway, i know how you feel though with budget for the wedding - mine was considered low by all my friends for the amount of people i had and they would tell me that lol but i also had a lot more guests than all my friends and so i straight up made it clear i wasn't going to go broke on a "Dream wedding" because at the end of the day my dream was just having my friends and family there to witness my marriage to my love and i got everything i wanted even if it was a cheaper version of my dream lol.

    at the end of the day, do what is best for you - it might be hard not to compare yourself, but doing what's best for you is what matters.

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  • Amanda
    Dedicated July 2022
    Amanda ·
    • Flag
    Sola wood flowers** not sure why it put an emoji instead of an “s”. Lol.
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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
    • Flag

    You could have a vow renewal when you're more financially secure! I don't know if it helps, but I'm the opposite. I'd rather put a payment down on a house than have a nice wedding, but my FH feels strongly about the wedding. I just remind myself that the day will be fun regardless, my FH will be happy, and we'll be married.

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  • Sloane
    Rockstar May 2022
    Sloane ·
    • Flag
    So we had a backyard wedding and it was fabulous. We did spend a fortune. But that doesn’t mean you have to. There are so many ways you can make this fabulous on a budget. It really is important to own your wedding story and remember that it doesn’t have to compare to anyone else’s. Listen I’ve been to lovely weddings that didn’t cost a fortune and had a great time. I w been to million dollar weddings and had a great time too. Focus on creating the wedding you want with the resources you have. I promise it will be magnificent.
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