My sister is married to my fiancé’s brother, which is how he and I met many years ago. They have never approved of he and I dating, and essentially said if we ever did, they would never forgive us. She has issues with feeling like I’m always stealing her thunder and overshadowing her, she’s worried that If he and I don’t work out it will complicate her family dynamics.. she has said it’s very awkward for her to see me hanging out with their mother and having a good relationship with her. She’s very insecure and I think my presence in her family in law is very upsetting. He and I did try to stay away from each other for a while, but eventually we just could not ignore our connection. Three years later we are now getting married and my sister and his brother are still not speaking to us, though they have come around a little and are cordial at family functions. I have no idea if they plan to attend the wedding. If they do it will simply be to save face. Both families think at this point they are being ridiculous and need to get over it. My sister came around to me about a month and a half ago at another family members wedding saying she missed me (she was drunk) but not a lot has happened since then.
My question centers around our wedding party. In part due to this whole drama, I do not have a wedding party. However, we will have our nieces and nephews in the wedding as flower girls and ring bearers. I want to ask my sister if she will allow my niece (3 years old) to be our flower girl. But I am scared to even ask and rock the boat. All of the other nieces and nephews will be participating. Any advice on how I should approach her? I’m scared it will stir up more drama as she’s been very cruel to me in the past when I’ve tried reaching out, but I do want my niece to be included 😬 thank you!