Ugh sorry this got so long. The tl;dr is my friends with similar tastes and interests as me are the ones who can’t make my wedding, and I move too much and am bad at maintaining friendships with people I otherwise would have invited, so I’m sad about it lol.
I don’t even know if I’m seeking some advice so much as venting. We are having a smaller ~50 people wedding. This is absolutely what we want and can afford to make the experience awesome for the people who are there, so no complaints there. But, of course, this came with some cuts.
Another piece to this is my FH’s and my completely different backgrounds. He has two very tight friend groups who he’s been close with for years, some going back to high school (in addition to being close with his immediate family). So no surprise, his guests are his family and his super besties.
I moved a lot as a kid, went to college out of state, then went to law school elsewhere, then moved to three different states in the first couple years after I graduated before ending up where I am now for the last 5 years. So I barely ever see any friends from my past lives, and after quitting social media a few years ago, now I’m really out of touch. So when it came to making my guest list, I pretty much invited my current close friends and my current coworkers because I work in a small, congenial office and they are definitely getting the brunt of my wedding planning rants and have been very excited about this and supportive through this whole process. I also have a couple law school friends who I actively stay in touch with, who I also invited. No one from my family because I don’t talk to them.
I felt good about this, but now that STDs have gone out, my friends around my age are the ones declining (for super legit reasons, like babies!!). I’m starting to feel a little bummed about the reception because everything from some of the music choices (90s kids, so lots of nostalgic throwbacks to get in there) to the timing of the reception itself (because of our venue, our reception is super late 10 pm to 2 am). Like my older coworkers are lots of fun, I just don’t know if they’re drunkenly belting out Backstreet Boys at 2 am fun. I’m regretting not inviting some of my other friends who I haven’t been as active with recently but would love the chance to see again. I have two friends in particular I’m thinking of, to the point that I was almost ready to send them STDs, but I haven’t talked to them in a year and a half (so past the one year rule of thumb) and definitely haven’t been close with them for even longer. I honestly don’t know if they would find it awkward if I reached out (I personally would find it sweet to get an invite from one of them), so at this point I’m leaning toward not doing it.
Anyone else having trouble coming to terms with their guest list looking different/having a different vibe than they originally planned?