Having Doubts and Don’t Know What to Do

I think that you should go to counseling and express these feelings / fears to a professional that can help you work through your doubts to figure out what you really want.

Seems like these are going really quick. Would he be willing to go to some kind of couples counseling with you?

Go to counseling if you can. If you're unsure about how to present it I would start with noting that pre-marital counseling is a great step in moving forward together to a joint future.

I do have concerns about this: " he has said that losing me would cause him to die inside, he would feel nothing but pain, and the only thing that would comfort him is the memory of my touch."

Yes, we all have strong feelings for our partners, and would no doubt feel pain should we lose them. But be careful here, these kinds of language/statements can quickly turn into manipulation and codependency.

The beginning of most relationships are just as you described - you're playful, always laughing super attracted to each other, lots of cute messages, etc. Once you've been together for over a year, probably closer to two years this kind of stuff (the "little things") naturally dies down a bit and the relationship takes a little more work, and in my opinion that's when you truly see if you're meant to be. If you are, you'll still be happy together just maybe have to remind each other of the little things like cute messages and work a little more to plan cute date nights and break your routine a little.

To me it sounds like your relationship might be fine but your current doubts make me think you need a little more time to tell so I'd suggest a long engagement. That way you're sure that when the cute little things dwindle you are both still in love. Keep in mind no guy is going to be perfect, you could find someone that had the exact same interests as you, and is super patient and positive but maybe has a bit of a wandering eye for other women or is dead set on having children and is very religious.

Every relationship requires communication. I often tell my husband that things he did or said bothered me, and I explain why and he makes an effort to correct it. There's a good chance your partner would too and that's a really good sign! Just don't word it as "I'm having doubts" or he will immediately shut down and get upset. Instead, next time he does or says something that bothers you, tell him right then and there that it bothers you and why. See how he responds and even more importantly see if he makes an effort to change. Remember that you can't expect him to be exactly like you, but with communication about what bothers you he should become more aware and maybe even over time start talking and thinking a little more like you. For example my husband and I have adopted a lot of each other's phrases, and he cares more about things that I always cared about and he never really thought twice about. So overall time will tell!

I definitely agree with seeking counseling. Husband and I are very different in many ways and have some passions/hobbies we pursue individually, but our values are the same. That's worked for us for 32+ years. However, there are a few things in your post that are potential red flags to me: first, that maybe your values are not all that similar -- if he says things you find disrespectful to others, it's important the two of you can talk that through; second, and most importantly, that he's saying things like, "losing you would cause him to die inside." Maybe that's just hyperbole, but it can also be a sign of a controlling, toxic relationship. I'm not saying yours is, but especially since it's your first serious relationship and it got serious pretty quickly, I strongly encourage you to be cautious. Pre-marital counseling is an excellent way to exercise caution. Finally, the fact that you are having doubts is a bit of a red flag. Listen to the little voice that is raising questions and use counseling to explore what that's about. If FH doesn't want to participate in counseling, GO BY YOURSELF. You sound like a smart woman; trust yourself. If the two of you are right for each other and should marry, there's really no downside to counseling. If you're not right for each other, counseling could save you a lot of grief down the road. Good luck to you!

PPs have already given you great advice, but I'd like to say that it's totally normal to have doubts. It means you aren't going into this marriage blindly. Be completely open and honest about your reservations to FH. If he's willing to work with you through these issues, that's a great sign. Hope everything goes well!