Having Children

As a childfree person, I say if you're not sure you want kids, then don't have them. It's a lifelong commitment that you can't take back. Regardless of any mental conditions or disabilities, being a parent is a full-time job. It's OK to admit if you don't think you can handle it. I teach young kids and I believe that children deserve a stable, happy environment with parents who 100% want the job. 40% of millennials don't have kids and about 10% of those are by choice. Our society is changing and there's no obligation on you to have them, or what age to do it!

I completely agree with the previous poster. If you are not 100% sure that you desperately want children, then I would suggest against them. Raising children is a 24 hour job, and it’s a hard one. To be successful at it, you have to really, really want it. Also, the disabilities you mention can 100% be passed onto your offspring. I don’t know the rate of autism being passed on, but I will say from experience that every single person I know that is bipolar has passed it on to their children. So, if you decide to reproduce, you will have to be comfortable knowing that you may pass on those afflictions to your children.

View Quoted Comment I’m on the Asperger’s spectrum!!! I wasn’t diagnosed til I was 16!

View Quoted Comment And my dad is also Bi-Polar!!! It’s just that i love those cool Welsh names and I’m very in my Welsh heritage because my last name is Jones so!!!

View Quoted Comment And my husband took me to Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 that I always dreamed of doing and I did have dream I didn’t know if that was before or during my time Wales 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 that I had a baby boy!!! And here I am scrambling to get on baby names.com and of your always fumbling in your dream and here I am scrambling for a name and the only name I could come up with was Griffin and I did tell my husband this dream!!!

View Quoted Comment Take the Deaf/blind are a disability!!!

I know first hand what people with bipolar is like as parents. 0/10.

If you are still working on taking care of yourself then it would not be responsible to have a child at this time. And genetics aside, that's not even taking into account what you may have on your plate in terms of supporting your H's issues.

To say "it’s just that i love those cool Welsh names" as a reason to have a child is frankly scary if that's actually something that's motivating you. To say that it's no reason to have a child is an understatement.

View Quoted Comment So obviously your father passed on his mental health issues to you. I am hoping you are not saying that the driving force for possibly having a child is because you want to name it a cool Welsh name. If that’s the case, get a cat or a doll and name it- definitely NOT a child! Your post is super alarming and is screaming you are not fit to be a parent.

View Quoted Comment I don’t know why said that.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I don’t know what I was thinking!!!

View Quoted Comment Well if it happens it happens and if not can always enjoy other peoples kids even though their screaming!!!

View Quoted Comment I think you should seek out a therapist. You're seeming a little manic.

View Quoted Comment “If it happens it happens” is the kind of attitude a couple might have when they are in a good place in their lives to raise children. Right now that’s not you. I hope this doesn’t mean you are going to let fate decide. That would be a huge mistake.

View Quoted Comment I have to agree with this. I think therapy would be a great idea. As would consulting a medical doctor and/or fertility specialist. At your age, it would be considered a geriatric pregnancy, which carries with it additional risks to both the mother and the unborn baby. It also carries a higher risk for the baby being born with down syndrome. It would be important to see if you even had viable eggs, or if it would be advised by a medical professional. It would also be important for your husband to get his sperm checked. Just because men CAN still reproduce, it doesn’t mean they should. The quality of sperm deteriorates with age, just like the quality of women’s eggs.

View Quoted Comment Well I did researched it and came upon this. Yes, autistic people can have kids, and studies show that they are capable of raising healthy, happy families. For parents who are on the spectrum, some helpful strategies may include attending parenting classes or workshops specifically designed for individuals with autism and seeking out guidance from family members and friends when needed.

Yes, people with intellectual disabilities and/or mental health conditions can birth children, some choose not to. The planning part in the term "family planning" is key for everyone, regardless of abilities. In your case, I would check the terms of your conservatorship if there are clauses on future reproduction. Certainly discuss children with your new spouse if you have not done so before. If this is something for which you both want to move forward, discuss with your doctors. There's fertility and genetic testing available, as well as parenting resources so you can make informed decisions.

View Quoted Comment No one has said otherwise. But this isn’t about research or other people with autism, it’s about you, your H, and your specific needs and individual circumstances. Again, if you’re still working on taking care of yourself in your late 30s it would not be responsible to have a child right now.


IMO this is not a decision to be made lightly or left to chance.

View Quoted Comment We have discussed it

View Quoted Comment Yes I understand that!!!