Skip to main content

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Katie
Super June 2014

Having bridesmaid regrets...overbearing bridesmaid

Katie, on March 18, 2014 at 12:20 PM Posted in Planning 0 11

So I have a bridesmaid that has taken over my wedding. She has completely bombarded my maid of honor and forced herself upon all the planning. My maid of honor has an almost two year old son, is pregnant with her second - and in the past 6 months has taken over her father's business ( he passed away in November unexpectedly) so she has a lot going on. I knew this going into my wedding, and understood she wouldn't have the time to just drop whatever she was doing and help me. This other bridesmaid has been calling my other bridesmaids multipls times a day, and freaking out over every detail. It is to the point where they have to screen their calls. I feel like she is more involved with my wedding than I am! I am a very laid back person, and we have been engaged for over a year, so we have worked on our wedding for a long time, and not rushed anything. I know she means well and just wants everything to be perfect, but this is also the first wedding she has ever been in or even been to.

11 Comments

Latest activity by DeniseD, on March 18, 2014 at 3:21 PM
  • KristenMeowza
    Master October 2014
    KristenMeowza ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Omg I would just tell her to chill. She can freak out over her own wedding. I swear, I don't understand people.

    • Reply
  • Julia Beth
    VIP July 2014
    Julia Beth ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    What Kristen said.

    Considering she's not experienced with weddings, maybe she's just trying to be helpful and doesn't realize that the bridesmaids aren't expected to be 100% focused on wedding things, all the time. There are A LOT of brides out there who demand a whole lot of their bridesmaids, it could be that she's just trying to step up to the plate and get the rest of the girls to do what she thinks is their part. Just tell her to relax.

    • Reply
  • Allyson
    Master May 2014
    Allyson ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I would have a conversation with her and tell her that while you appreciate her help, you don't need her to be this worried about details as you have things in pretty good shape.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Super June 2014
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I've had that conversation with her multiple times. I've told her that I would ask for her help if I needed it ( in a nicer way). It just doesn't seem to make a difference no matter what I say. She called me 5 times in one day over picking a flower decoration for the card box. One flower.

    • Reply
  • Theresa Beale
    Master November 2014
    Theresa Beale ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Wow, while it's nice that she wants to help, I would probably tell her that she needs to relax a bit and tell her she needs to ease off contacting your MOH. You may want to remind her that your MOH has a lot going on and you don't expect her to be very involved in wedding planning.

    • Reply
  • A&G
    Master August 2014
    A&G ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    If you've had the conversation with her several times perhaps you need to approach this a different way.

    Perhaps assigning her things to work on. She is concerned about the card box, well give her that as her own personal project for her to work on. Tell her what you are thinking of having and that she is now responsible for making/decorating the card box and that she doesn't need to contact you or any of the other BMs about it. If you give her something to focus on by herself that will make her happy and hopefully leave the other BMs alone. Keep thinking of little projects like that for her to work on. You'll get things done without having to work and she will be happy for helping.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Super June 2014
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    @Amanda that is a great idea, I'm sure I could come up with a few little projects that would keep her busy for a while - cardbox, signs for candy table etc. Thank you!

    I'm slightly scared for how she will act when she is actually the one getting married if this is how she acts with my wedding!!

    • Reply
  • KT-V
    VIP April 2014
    KT-V ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    What Amanda said. My MOH is really sweet, but started getting too involved in the planning for my taste. She has take charge personality and loves to plan and be creative. Plus, she's married, but never had a wedding so she never had the chance to plan one. She calmed down a lot when she started planning the bridal shower. It was a way for her to focus her energy on other things. Hopefully that is what happens with your BM.

    • Reply
  • MonkeysandBananas
    Super May 2014
    MonkeysandBananas ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Oh Wow, you might want to stop telling her things about the wedding. She is making everything about her, and it's so not her place. You might want to consider relieving her of her BM duties, just so she's not freaking out closer to your wedding.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Master November 2014
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I think you need to be kind, but super direct here.

    "[Bridesmaid], I know that you're really into helping me plan the wedding, but I'm not really comfortable with how much you've been taking on. From now on, I will let you know when I'd like your help or advice, if you're willing to give it. But I am really not okay with the situation as it is right now, especially the fact that you're calling up other bridesmaids so frequently. Wedding planning is my job, since this is my wedding, and I need you to take a step back."

    • Reply
  • DeniseD
    Master May 2015
    DeniseD ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I have one of those. Gave her an assignment she stopped calling me every day but we are still a year out so there isn't that much for everyone to do except the FH and I to vet the vendors.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×


WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Rockstars

  • D
    Getting married in 07/03/2025

Groups

WeddingWire article topics