Having a hard time with the kids invited and not invited to our wedding

Well first that’s not your issue to deal with if the parents have you get children. They will be the ones to hire a sitter or whatever. When you make a decision to do something, you need to be confident and stand by what you’ve done. So if you don’t want children, simply have on your invite that you live children but they’re not invited. If you only want a certain ages group, simply state the age on your invite for children and let everything fall where it falls. Best of luck!

My opinion is kids are all or nothing except for the those in the bridal party. I wouldn't go about setting some arbitrary cut off age for you risk really upsetting guests especially those with one child who is allowed and another child who isn't.

You could approach it by being clear and consistent with your policy. A good option would be to have a "children's age policy" in your invitation, stating that only kids 10 and up are invited. If there are families with younger children, you could gently explain the situation, offering a "parents-only" invitation, or perhaps suggesting a separate celebration with them after the wedding for the younger kids. If you're concerned about the parents' reaction, you could consider a compromise, such as offering a kid-friendly area or activity at the reception to make everyone feel included.

View Quoted Comment Yes but it's the same when the cut-off age is 18 or 21: some couples have kids over 18 or 21 still living with them and under 18. In this situation, the family is still separated but they wouldn't make a fuss about it...

Planning my daughter’s wedding…. I’m planning no children & even no plus ones. It’s very expensive as it is & this will help with that expense. Take consideration over your parent’s financial sacrifice versus other parents getting offended. Spending prob over hundred dollars per child is absolutely insane.
Sidenote - having an adult party is so much more fun & less choatic without kids running around. My sister had a whole separate room for the children with babysitters. Was not cheap to do. To me, it’s not worth it!!
This is your day!!! Not anyone else’s. You do what’s best & everyone will have to understand, including those parents that have to just get a babysitter for that day.

My fiancé and I talked about this prior and said that we’re sticking to no children but children from out of town, those who are in the wedding, and immediate families. Unfortunately, you’re going to receive people who are upset, and frankly, we’ve had to have several conversations with family members about inviting. At the end of the day, it’s your day. Parents are going to want an exception, but it does need to be reminded that parents are meant to be support systems throughout this time. Let me tell you standing on what you want isn’t easy but if it makes you happier on your day then it’s worth it.

I don't know if this is something that will be helpful for anyone else but what were doing is hiring daycare services for the kids 10 and under just because I don't want any interruptions of any type during the day. They'll be set up in the groom suite because it has a TV and we can add a game system for the older kids. The company we are going through provides pizza and games and activities for all age groups and they have qualified people. Above all else do what you are comfortable with and what you envision for yourselves on a amazing day.

Go with a clear adults only unless the child is 10+, even if that means a family’s older child can come but the younger one can’t. It will feel fair because it matches the cutoff your parents asked for and it protects your per-person costs.

For families in that situation, I’d message them directly and keep it warm and simple: you love their kids, but you’re limited on headcount and you’re being charged per guest the same way, so you had to set a firm age minimum. Then add that you completely understand if they can’t make it and you’ll celebrate with them another time.

Quite honestly, we had kids at our wedding and it was fine. Kids tend to help fill the dancefloor, make the pictures more fun and add those cute moments that end up as amazing pictures. Also years from now they might remember "they were at Uncle John's wedding!" and sometimes they lift your spirits when they say the cutest thing like "You look so pretty in your wedding dress!" The only reason you would avoid kids is if you have extremely limited space or some kind of situation that would warrant keeping kids away. In my opinion kids help make weddings more fun, they are usually the first to start dancing and are almost always dressed up in the cutest outfits. It also makes it easier on the parents which they will appreciate.

View Quoted Comment Some people don’t care for children, or babies, and just don’t want them. We’re eloping, in part, because we have no desire to deal with children or parents whining because we said no.
But to each their own.