Having a hand in your bridal shower

Let your in-laws take care of the shower planning. All you have to do is show up

You shouldn’t have asked her to throw it in the first place. If she politely accepted, the least you can do is trust her to plan it. If you’re not capable
of that, apologize for requesting her to throw you a party and let her know you’d prefer not to have a shower.

It’s her money, her party. It’s FOR you but you can’t dictate the theme or anything. Think of it as a present for you, you can’t pick out your own present. Relax and let her plan, it’s absolutely rude to throw your own shower, it won’t paint you in a good light. Please don’t do that.
Only offer ideas, ect if the host asks. She should only be asking your guest count. I’m sure what she comes up with will be beautiful!

In general someone offers to throw you the shower so you likely stepped on toes by asking. Then telling them what to do is generally I'll advised unless they ask for your opinion. You are supposed to let someone throw it for you and just show up. 🤷
It's a bridal shower, the point is to get gifts. If you get gifts then it's a good shower. I would advise you to just let this go or you'll likely be giving your in laws a bad impression for later.

Sorry, but you are in the wrong here. You are not supposed to ask anyone to throw you a party and your MIL is correct. If she throws the lamest shower ever, you slap on a smile and say thank you profusely to everyone involved and come here and vent afterwards.

I had my former MIL's "church ladies" throw me a shower. (I was married for the first time in the early 90's.) I was like, "Huh? I don't know any of these people!!" My mom said: "We are gonna show up, eat whatever they put out and say thank you!" Cause that is what you do. (It wasn't that bad, truthfully!!!) You get to help with the guest list and date and any food restrictions, but that is it!

Take it from me: I would apologize to your future MIL to avoid any hurt feelings later.

I asked my MOH if she didn't mind helping my mom throw my shower and she was fine with it. I did have some request: I control the guest list and date. Other than that I'm going to kick back and let them plan.

My MOH did text me the other day saying that nothing matches and hopes I understand lol. We joked that my shower is going to have zen music, hay bales, and a clown.

Yeah, you dont ask someone to throw you an optional party. They offer. And then you let them plan it. They give you the date, time and place and you show up. Unless you have any dietary restrictions on food, everything should be left to them. My mom offered to throw one for me, she picked the place, and then asked me what I wanted to eat and sent me the menu to pick from. That was the only thing I was involved with was picking out the menu and that was only because my mom asked me. I would just let them plan it, and then be grateful they did and thank them! A bridal shower is meant to "shower the bride with gifts." So if you get gifts, it's a good shower.

If someone is throwing you a shower you get what you get. No you don't have to love everything but you do have to appreciate it all.

I understand how you feel as I am very Type A but I had to let them do their thing. Throughout the whole process my mom was keeping it a surprise but I asked around to find out it's this coming Saturday. She didn't tell anyone else it was meant to be a surprise (on the invites) so screw it. Two bridesmaids told me lol. The only thing my mom asked was if there were games or anything I really wanted or didn't want so I gave my opinion then. I showed my sister (MOH) the game ideas I was thinking of. Otherwise, I don't even know where it is or what the theme will be. I did mention that I prefer to pick out my own garter belt that I really like because my mom was wanting to gift me a set at the shower. It's more than okay to speak up about some things like I mentioned but I wouldn't try to take over the whole thing!

Typically, you only get a bridal shower if someone offers to throw it. You shouldn't ask someone to throw you a party, then direct them on what to do. I would just let her throw her own party or don't have a shower.

I'm the same way, I love planning things. But at this point you just have to trust her.