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Future Mrs.Garrison
Expert June 2017

Having 3 sisters and picking a MOH

Future Mrs.Garrison, on April 12, 2016 at 12:00 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 23

I have a HUGE dilemma. I have 2 sisters and 1 half sister , and a best friend of many many years. They've all been asking me what my plans are for who is going to be my MOH but truth is I have absolutely NO clue. Someone threw out the idea of no MOH and all bridesmaids, or 2 MOH (both full blood sisters), or just the BFF as the MOH so no sisters feel left out. So my older sister is a mother and works so she's very busy, my best friend is pregnant with her first, and my little sister is only 17! HELP PLEASE

23 Comments

Latest activity by Catie, on April 12, 2016 at 9:40 PM
  • Lori
    Master June 2015
    Lori ·
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    I fully understand the potential drama with sisters, but I don't think this needs to be that big of a deal. You know you have options, you just need to pick one. Hopefully everyone can be adults about what you end up deciding. The fact that your older sister is busy, your best friend is pregnant, and your younger sister is 17 shouldn't have any bearing on your decision. Your MOH does not need to plan anything, help you with anything, or otherwise do anything other than show up and support you on your wedding day.

    You could:

    1. Have no MOH.

    2. Have your two sisters both be MOH. But would your half-sister feel purposely left out?

    3. Just pick one. Who are you closest with? MOH is an honor position to recognize the person who has supported you and helped you. Is there any one person who comes to mind?

    None of these options are bad or wrong. You just need to decide which one you want to do. Also, you're more than a year out from your wedding. You have plenty of time to figure this out.

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  • Audrey
    VIP June 2016
    Audrey ·
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    Rock, paper, scissors?

    I agree with @Lori in point #3. Whomever you are closest with should be your MOH. Are you the first sister to get married? If not, who was the MOH at those weddings?

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  • NativeBride
    Super October 2016
    NativeBride ·
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    I am thinking of going with no MOH. Just explain that they are all great and wonderful in their own ways but no way could you pick one.

    orrrr you could pick the best friend to be the MOH. All up to you and how you feel about it.

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  • Angela
    Super June 2016
    Angela ·
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    Don't make the decision yet. It is too early and things can change. However, if you can't decide and feel that your sisters/half-sister would be hurt if one or the other was chosen, then either pick your BFF or no one to be MOH.

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  • ELK
    Master March 2018
    ELK ·
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    I have two sisters and am having a similar dilemma minus the half sister twist.

    Ultimately, you should pick the person you're closest with and ask her. Sometimes, especially when sisters are involved, it's not that easy.

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  • Ekab
    VIP November 2017
    Ekab ·
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    I have two sisters as well, and I am asking my best friend to be my MOH so that I wouldn't have to choose.

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  • Melissa847
    Super September 2016
    Melissa847 ·
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    Don't pick two MOHs and leave your half sister our, that doesn't sound like a good idea. I'd pick whoever you feel closest to, regardless of who could help you the most. Or you can just skip having a MOH and tell your girls you love them all equally and can't choose one.

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  • Future Mrs.Garrison
    Expert June 2017
    Future Mrs.Garrison ·
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    Y'all are great. I think either way I go, someone's going to feel left out and that's not my hope for the day! I am a little over a year out from the wedding, but I plan to ask these girls soon! All bridesmaids sounds better anyways cause none of them play a more important part than the other! Thanks!

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  • Heather
    Dedicated October 2017
    Heather ·
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    So I only have one sister. However still chose my best friend to be my maid of honor. Honestly I wanted a friend in that role. I know I may sound horrible to some people but it's what I want. You ultimately have to do what you want and what makes you happy. You can't stress out and worry about upsetting someone. It's your wedding and you need to be able to look back on that day and be happy with what it was. If that means your MOH is your best friend or one of your sisters or no one then it's your call. You have to do what makes you happy.

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  • FutureMrsH
    VIP June 2017
    FutureMrsH ·
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    You've got a LOT of time before picking. Chill.

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  • Hollyberry
    VIP October 2016
    Hollyberry ·
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    You have time. If I were you, I would be leaning towards no MOH, or having both sisters.

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  • Kactus Kat
    VIP July 2016
    Kactus Kat ·
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    I would not have a MOH, or I would just pick one. Having two feels like purposely leaving someone out, which is asking for hurt feelings.

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  • M
    VIP September 2016
    MrsInSeptember ·
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    I like that they all can be BMs but give them specific tasks coming up to wedding so they all feel special in some way or even helping with something specific day of.

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  • FallforLindahl
    VIP June 2017
    FallforLindahl ·
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    Don't pick yet, your relationship might change in the next few months!

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  • LoLo.P
    VIP May 2016
    LoLo.P ·
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    I would wait still you have time. Don't ask yet and just go with how you feel. Hopefully they'll all understand.

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  • Nancy Taussig
    Nancy Taussig ·
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    Even if you don't designate one to be MOH, one of them will be standing next to you and can fluff your train or pass you a hankie, one can hold your bouquet, one (or two) can sign the license as a witness, one can make a toast. Divide the honors amongst them.

    As to how to arrange them, go by height or by how long you've known each or pair with the groomsmen.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    The only reason I'd knock the 17 year old sister out of the equation is because her age will preclude her from attending your bachelorette party (if you're having one, and if you are, if it's in a bar with alcohol service). The MOH usually takes the lead on that part of the planning, so it might be a little awkward.

    Your busy sister, your half sister, or your pregnant friend? Hmmm...I'd give it a little more time. The answer will come to you. You're the only one who can make the choice.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    What just happened? Why did the word "rude/rudely" enter the conversation? [sigh]

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  • B
    Expert November 2017
    Brandieb123 ·
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    I had this conversation today

    All of my bm are my sisters

    I jokingly said I could have a maid, matron and best little sister of honor. They took it lol

    So I guess mine has been solved

    If they were serious and hurt over titles I would have just made them all equally bridesmaids

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  • annakay511
    Master July 2015
    annakay511 ·
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    I would pick your oldest sister or best friend

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