Have to Cut Guest List - Help!

Man, this is a hard situation and I'm sorry you have to make that list cut. This has been my fear the last 2 years since we are living and getting married in FL and we have had 2 big hurricanes in the last 2 years.

I don't think I'd even reach out to tell them since that could be an awkward conversation in itself, even though its not your fault I feel like it could come off as "Hey, so we had to change venues, and unfortunately you didn't make the cut. Sorry."

I feel like it wouldn't sound good any way you cut it to them.

I would just send out invites to those who you are inviting and if someone asks you about it/confronts you then I'd inform them of the situation but I don't think I'd go out of my way to inform 30 people. Maybe FMIL and your mom can spread the news by word of mouth so it's less formal of an announcement.

I agree with this. There is no good way to tell people they didn't make the A list...Start with word of mouth. Hope that people don't ask you what happened to their invitation and if they do, explain that you had to change venues which forced you to have a more intimate affair than you originally intended. Also, don't post on social media or talk about the wedding to anyone who didn't make the final cut. It'll be like salt on the wound.

I don't think bridges will be burned if you're honest. I would say something like, "Due to unforeseen circumstances and damages to our original venue, we can only accommodate a small guest count with our last minute venue change. As much as we'd love to have you with us celebrating our special day, we can no longer accommodate a big guest count per our new venue's limitations. We hope you understand and are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause." Or throw an informal BBQ or something the next weekend to include those 30 people cut from the list.

I would suggest reaching out to them personally and telling them what happened and just be honest. We had a similar situation happen with us. If they are local, try setting up a dinner or some get together to spend some time with them.

There is no polite way to do that. You can be completely honest with them, which may be your best way forward. However, that won't be "polite". Sometimes there just isn't a polite way forward.

Even though the situation is not your fault, I think you owe it to the guests who won't make the cut to either give them a call or write them a letter. Yes, it'll be awkward and uncomfortable, but it'd the right thing to do. How would you feel if you got a Save The Date, never got an invitation, and never heard why? I know I would feel very slighted, or like I had done something wrong. I'm sure the majority of people will understand the circumstances if you're honest, more so than I you leave them in the dark. And if anyone gives you a hard time, well, then it's a good thing they weren't invited anyway! And I would do this sooner rather than later just in case people are putting in for time off work or making reservations in the expectation of receiving an invitation having gotten a STD.

This actually happed to me as well, although we lost our venue due to other reasons out of our control. We ended up having to cut about 20 guests. We had already sent out save the dates but not invitations at the time. We ended up just sending out invitations to those we were inviting (honestly most of the people who were cut were our parents and grandparents friends, some of whom we don't even know) but didn't make a formal announcement or reach out to anyone who didn't make the cut. Most did not get in touch when they didn't get an invite, but those who did, I explained the circumstances and since losing the original venue was out of our control, and the size limit at the new one was out of our control as well, it really didn't seem to bother anyone. But it helped that we really were not close with the people who chose not to invite, and I would hope that none of them would take it out on our parents, since they have no control over the guest list. At least that hasn't happened so far.

Sorry to hear this! How stressful!

I'm usually against A list B list for invitations, but given the circumstances, can you send invitations early to your A list, and then send to B list based on declines? I've heard from many industry experts that 20% of people don't come whether you think they will or not (I know people here disagree), so I wouldn't use that to budget or send out 62 invites hoping to get 50 people, but perhaps that will assuage your concerns.

Best of luck - it will work out!