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Dedicated September 2022

Have any of you had to do this before?

Sydney, on February 23, 2022 at 2:45 PM Posted in Community Conversations 1 5

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So when my husband and I decided we were going to have a wedding for our two year anniversary since we never had one (we eloped), I got super excited and jumped way ahead in asking all of these girls and guys to be in our bridal party. Well, I know one couple that wanted to be in the “wedding” and even agreed to stand along side us are really not in the position to rent a tux and buy a nice dress comfortably. Mind you, I am a budget bride or I would have definitely paid for them. I’m having to pay for my brother and little sisters attire at that. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, because we have gotten so close over the past year. I don’t know what to do and I’m really starting to hate having sent invitations out and calling it a wedding. I guess I got caught up in what “weddings are supposed to be like” in society. I hate this planning process and I only have so much budget to work with. A bridal party is more expensive than I thought it would be! Is it rude to cut people out? They don’t even really ever ask me about the wedding unless we are hanging out. And whenever I message them in regards to if they will be able to get what they need, I usually get no response anyways.

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on February 25, 2022 at 8:28 AM

Super March 2022
Candace · on February 23, 2022 at 3:10 PM
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Yes, I think it would be rude to cut people. If you are worried that they can't afford the attire, maybe you can lower the expectations. For example, don't require a tux for the groomsmen. A pair of gray slacks, white dress shirt, and the same color tie would look fine. And the ladies don't have to buy an expensive dress. Just tell them what color they can wear and let them but what they can afford.
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Legend July 2022
Lisa · on February 23, 2022 at 3:25 PM
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Once you ask someone to be in your wedding, you can't really go back without potentially hurting someone's feelings. If money for attire is the only issue, I agree with Candace that there are much cheaper ways to get bridal party attire! You can buy pre-owned bridesmaids dresses on Poshmark or eBay or Facebook Marketplace for cheaper than ordering new, or you could find new dresses on Amazon (also a cheaper option), or just specify a color and let everyone find their own attire in their budget.
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VIP December 2021
mrswinteriscoming · on February 23, 2022 at 4:02 PM
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Your bridal party aren't obligated to be involved in the wedding planning and to that end they aren't required to ask about your wedding - at the end of the day, all they need to do is to be there to support you and wear the attire specified.
If you know some people can't afford the dress/suit you've picked - give them more affordable options or help them out with the cost of it but by no means kick them out because of this.
In any case, it sounds to me like you are overall regretting having a bridal party but unless you dismiss the entire bridal party and decide not to have one, you cannot selectively "kick people out" unless you are prepared to have friendships end and carry the bad look that it will bring.
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on February 23, 2022 at 9:32 PM
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You can't drop people from your wedding party without potentially ending the friendship. Your bridal party does not have to be Involved in planning.
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Super August 2022
Samantha · on February 25, 2022 at 8:28 AM
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I don't think you need to cut them at all! I think you'll just want to adjust what you're expecting your bridal party might look like. We're not doing suits for the groomsmen at all and are just asking them to wear blue/navy slacks and a white button down and brown shoes. My bridesmaids are all getting dresses for under $100 and I'm having them wear whatever neutral shoes they feel most comfortable in. We've been super conscious of the cost our bridal party is having to put into their attire because we're asking them to travel for our destination wedding. Most men own a white button down already and might even have pants in whatever color you go with! Your FH can still wear a suit (that's what we're doing) and it will still look cohesive!
Here's our general inspo pic.

You could also just have them wear suits in whatever color they already own if you want a more formal look!
There are for sure ways to work around it and have them in your special day 😊
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