Have a large family/friend system and want a small intimant wedding.

I did my guest list in this order...

1). Family

2). Friends

3). Co-workers and acquaintances

Then from there we started chopping family who we are not close to and/or never see. Such as 2nd and 3rd cousins, cousins who are much older than us or whom we never see/were not invited to their weddings. Then we did the same thing with friends. We both had the urge to invite friends from high school b/c once upon a time that relationship was meaningful or we have fond memories, but really they are not going to be offended if they have not kept in regular touch with you over the years and should not be expecting an invite. Same thing with old college friends. When we still had more family and friends than we had money to pay for them, we cut our co-workers and acquaintances altogether, and I've worked at the same job with the same people for the past five years. I'm sure there may be a hurt feeling or two, but I don't think they ever "expected" to be invited.

Oh, and I think the party atmosphere you are going for comes from who you invite more so than how many. (do your guest like to drink, dance, socialize? or do they just want to eat, put in their appearance and go home?)

Send out only announcements to those not invited and if they question it let them know you appreciate their support but it is a family only function... if they get offended assure them it is for costs constraints... good luck

I just recently had to cut about 70 people from my original guest list. We decided to book a venue that has a limit of 50 people. I've really been struggling with this too! I think what we've decided to do is have our closest family, bridal party (which are our very best friends) and then a few of our close friends. We're not inviting all of our extended family and co-workers, etc. I know some people will be offended that they aren't invited but we are considering having an open house reception when we come back from our honeymoon. That way, people can come celebrate with us. By that point we will have videos and pics of the wedding/honeymoon and they can still feel like they were a part of it

DH and I have chosen to send out a flat 100 invites to our renewal, and whomever shows up from those will be it. We have a lot of friends and I come from a large family, but niether one of us felt it fair for someone to enjoy our destination renewal that we haven't seen or heard from in God-only-knows how many years or calls themselves "friends" but we never see or hear from.

I'm in the same boat - FH and I both have large families. We cut it down to 18 , only close friends, and still are at 100 people. I have to cut another 30 to meet our budget. The thoughts I have been toying with so far: cut the dinner to something smaller portioned (buffet, chicken instead of beef, 1-2 sides instead of 3-4), inviting only immediate family to the ceremony and dinner then expanding to a cake/punch reception for all, limiting alcohol, and finally - having our wedding on Thursday evening instead of a weekend (saved tons!). Good luck with your decision-making!

Having a weeknight wedding will definitely cut your guest list. You can still send invites to people you KNOW won't be able to make it without feeling guilty for not inviting them. Just don't be too surprised if some of them actually accept! Either way, if they have to make the sacrifice to miss 2 days of work, they really want to be there for you. They should be ready to party!

We basically invited only immediate family and their spouses, and very close friends (a total of a dozen people), to our ceremony, then took them all out to a nice restaurant to celebrate. A few days later, we had a larger reception back home with live music, dancing, and a DIY fauxtobooth, to which we invited all our friends. Honestly, "immediate family only" is often easier to carry off without hurt feelings than when you start inviting certain family members/friends and leaving out others.

I am in the same situation. What we decided to do is to have a destination wedding in Vegas. So we are only invited our parties and immediate family and grandparents. Still undecided about aunts and uncles because it would shot our guest list up from twenty to forty. Which is okay with us. If we have a vowel renewal down the road then will probably do a big wedding with everyone.

Thanks for everyones input. It is really helping. We decided to get married on September 2, 2011 which is the Friday of Labor Day weekend so I am betting on that to cut the guest list. I cut out all kids except 9 og them, 4 in the wedding and 5 doing a reading together. We are very involved with kids, so there are hurt feelings with the little one. But i think once we get back from the honey moon we are going to have a kid slumber party, for them to feel like they are still involved. I am also going to stay with the same Luau theme for that.

Im at the point where i just want to head to some where and call it a day. But I think I am going with a intimate wedding. I dont like hurting peoples feelings but I dont have a problem doing it.

Have a destination wedding and invite your parents and immediate relatives. then have a large blowout party after the honeymoon.

I pretty much did what Rebecca P. did. I think we are having no more than 60 people. So far I have us down for 46, that includes me and FH, and vendors working at our wedding: the coordinator, 2 photographers, 1 videographer. Have to pay to feed them too. Ask your venue or caterer if they have special child's prices. Since we are doing a buffet I think with one adult we get a free meal for a child.

But yeah I am not inviting any distant cousins or relatives we don't even talk to or distant friends that we haven't been close to in awhile and no co-workers at all. I am a bit bummed about that cause there are some people from work I feel a bit close with but we just can't afford to invite them. :-(

Here is my list of importance.

1. Family (parents, siblings, grandparents, great grandparents)

2. Family (Aunts and Nephews and first cousins)

3. Friends (that you talk to atleast once a month)

4. Shared Friends (friends that introduced you two)