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Celeste
Just Said Yes October 2025

Hat or no hat?

Celeste, on January 15, 2025 at 6:29 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

I am planning my wedding for October of 2025 and my fiancé & I have decided on the groomsmen not wearing hats during the ceremony and for formal pictures. One of my fiancé’s closest friends was asked to be a groomsman and he stated that he wouldn’t be a groomsman if he couldn’t wear a hat. We both have known that he has alopecia and while he has no control over this particular medical condition, my fiancé and I simply asked if he would be willing to just not wear a hat for the ceremony and a couple of the formal pictures. Both my fiancé and I are unsure of what to do now as we both have discussed with him our preference to have none of the guys wearing hats. We did however come up with a compromise that he could wear the hat during the ceremony but we really would like at least one formal picture with the rest of the bridal party without the hat. Please help!

5 Comments

Latest activity by Dr Rachael, on January 25, 2025 at 9:15 PM
  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    What type of hats were you thinking of? french beanie hats? derbie hats? cowboy hats?

    Could a certain style be acceptable? I think if the friend is close and he is one your fiance wants as a groomsman, then work with that friend. What about a toupee or wig?

    Maybe if the ceremony is with French beanie he will agree for a picture without the hat with the bridal party.

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  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
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    Not sure what you're asking here if tactics to convince your friend or assurance that you're not bad guys for wanting what you want. As hosts, it's within reason to request limited accessories from your WP which includes headwear. However, I would personally draw the line at dictating hair color and covering others' tattoos. I guess you and your groom will have to decide what is most important: the pic or the friend. Have you told him you'd like one formal pic without the hat? The friend must decide if he cannot go hat-less then if so, he can decline the groomsmen role as it was always his choice. All guests are honored guests and he can go as a guest and then wear what he likes. You can still take pictures with him. He can still toast you if you allow toasts. Everyone has a choice here and you just all have to respect each others' decisions.

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  • LM
    Super December 2022
    LM ·
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    Not sure what you're asking here if tactics to convince your friend or assurance that you're not bad guys for wanting what you want. As hosts, it's within reason to request limited accessories from your WP which includes headwear. However, I would personally draw the line at dictating hair color and covering others' tattoos. I guess you and your groom will have to decide what is most important: the pic or the friend. Have you told him you'd like one formal pic without the hat? The friend must decide if he cannot go hat-less then if so, he can decline the groomsmen role as it was always his choice. All guests are honored guests and he can go as a guest and then wear what he likes. You can still take pictures with him. He can still toast you if you allow toasts. Everyone has a choice here and you just all have to respect each others' decisions.

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  • Michael
    Master October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Remember that one picture is almost never taken of each pose by or setting of the wedding party. Maybe you mean that you will only select one for the final album.

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  • D
    Just Said Yes December 2025
    Dr Rachael ·
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    Maybe offer to help him with styling ... some hairstylists and barbers help men and women who have medical conditions create hair units or wigs. There really good now, where no one would ever know. And there are different application techniques depending on his hair texture. You be surprised by the number of men who use enhancements. Also, there are hair fibers and sprays that could help him feel more comfortable.

    Maybe he would be willing to compromise in that way ... and you all could do a few trial sessions so that he can see how he would look and also know how to touch up or take care of his hairstyle

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