Has anyone’s friendships changed since becoming engaged?

I think she might be a tiny bit jealous. You should talk to her about how you feel and see if you guys can fix things. Good luck! 💕

I have had to change bride's maids 3x so far because my sp called friends keep flaking. Ive been pretty much planning the wedding myself without the girls. Something about weddings. People show their true colors. Our wedding is in 3months. Im beyond stressed.

She sounds like drama. Were you planning on having her in the BP? If so, rethink this. Maybe she can just be a guest. The grown men will hopefully act... grown.

View Quoted Comment I’ve tried, unfortunately she just went behind my back and voiced her opinions to my FH through fb instead of trying to work it out.

View Quoted Comment That’s the other problem, she is my best friend however I want to ask her to be a BM and not the MOH which I think is going to cause even more problems. I want her to be there with me but I’m nervous to ask her to participate in any serious role since she has already made comments about not wanting to leave her boyfriend behind.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry that sounds terrible. People really do change overnight sometimes. I had this same problem with a friend after having my son as well. It’s strange how people change when they aren’t the center of the universe.

View Quoted Comment They aren't flaky because they're not helping you plan your wedding. That responsibility falls solely on you and your FS, no one else.

It definitely sounds like she’s jealous. She’s also pregnant so I’m sure that’s effecting her hormones, feelings, and has her thinking about her own future. I’d say don’t take it personally and just try to have an honest (and calm) conversation about what’s happening.

View Quoted Comment Thank you for the advice. I’d like to think that she’s not jealous but it’s turning into a competition which I definitely don’t have time or interest for. I’ve been trying to distance myself a little because of this but I’m hesitant to express too much how I feel since she has a habit of being an overreactor. She’s my best friend and usually these dramatic and harsh quarks about her are why I adore her but when the tables turned on me it’s not as appealing. 😕

Textbook jealousy. I would limit wedding talk with her. Just don't bring it up. If you do end up asking her to be in your bridal party, because I understand still loving your friends even if they're being turds, only talk to her about specifics she needs to know about, when and which dress to order, stuff like that.

I'm sorry thats happening. My sister relationship change a little where she never wanted to be married. Now she does. My best friend and I always been close. Honestly talk to her express your worries.

I noticed that when I tried to share my joy with other women who are not engaged or married, they are lukewarm. Have my core friendships changed, no. Have women who are not in my core circle acted "kinda funny" when they found out about my engagement, yup, absolutely!

I would suggest you keep your wedding plans to yourself and let her be a guest. She is not ready for prime time. She's got a lot going on with a baby on the way, so just minimize her role to guest. You will find that you may have to contain your joy and share your plans with those who are helping with your special day, (i.e. mom, dad, brother, etc). She already showed you where her head is at, so don't sweat it.

Not all women are jealous that their friends are getting married. Getting married is not an accomplishment.

I’m confused on if she’s pregnant or not. First you said she hopes to be pregnant, this you said she turns the conversation to how she is pregnant.

Have you talked to your friend about anything besides your wedding? So she’s trying to get pregnant - that’s exciting! Have you asked her how it’s going or how she and her significant other have been doing? Have you been supporting her? Although I do think it’s quite silly to tell you not to invite your FHs stepbrother, have you assured here there will be no drama? Have you asked her what went wrong in the relationship and offered moral support? So then you show her a wedding dress and she says she’s pregnant - that’s even more exciting! Have you talked to her about her pregnancy? Have you asked her she’s doing? Is she handling the pregnancy well?

Or are you just showing her wedding dress pictures and bridesmaids pictures and ignoring her life? You didn’t say anything about how you’ve offered her support or tried to be a real friend to her; you just said she’s not interested in talking about your wedding. And she doesn’t want to leave her boyfriend/baby daddy behind - guess what she’s allowed to feel like that. No one cares about your wedding as much as you will. If she’s causing drama on Facebook and she doesn’t want to be a pregnant BM, then have her attend as a guest. But she’s not jealous of you just because she’s not interested in every aspect of your wedding.

View Quoted Comment Sorry just to clarify she is pregnant. When I told her of the engagement she was unsure, in conversations since she confirmed she is. I’m extremely supportive of her and her life. I’ve been through all of her pregnancies with her, I’m always there to listen to her and am always supportive. This is my best friend here. I’m not saying that my engagement trumps her life however she has always been there to imaginary plan my wedding before there ever was one, always been my number one supporter through everything as well and always been excited for me even if I buy a new pair of shoes. I’m not saying she is jealous I’m just curious how to handle the shift that has happened.
I have discussed that I expect there to be no drama but it seems that she has already predetermined that if his stepbrother is there she would not be interested in leaving behind her bf/bd. Who by the way is clearly invited. I would like to be able to both have positive experiences that we go through and support each other through together but it’s not going like that. There is no bouncing baby/wedding ideas or details off each other and enjoying the ride, it’s a completely different vibe now and it’s sad to me.

She may be acting jealous because she is hurting inside, and apprehensive of having to deal with her ex in a social setting. She may have a lot of anxiety or fear. If she's been a sincere friend in the past, i wouldn't assume that this behavior means she's not; it may have brought up things that she's struggling to handle.

View Quoted Comment So when you ask her how her pregnancy is going, does she answer you? Or does she just ignore you and automatically get defensive and tell you she won’t come to your wedding because her ex will be there? If every time you reach out to her about her life and her pregnancy, she doesn’t want to talk about and instead talks about why she’s not coming to your wedding, honestly that’s not how adults communicate and I would just let it go and find someone who is more positive and knows how to commmunicate and is building you up.

I think its childish she wont come to your wedding if your FH’s stepbrother is there. But I guess that’s her right. I’ve never been through a life altering breakup and while I reeeeally don’t like my ex, I could stomach being in the same room with him for a wedding.

H and I had a beautiful wedding and I loved every minute of it. However, if one of my friends got married, I’d give recommendations and tell them what I did but I really wouldn’t care to look through pictures and help them do it all over again. Some people, like your MOH, might not have it built into them.

However, it sounds like she doesn’t want to talk about anything (even about herself), apart from telling you she won’t come if her ex is there. Unfortunately for her, your future husband’s family is a priority over her. My husband is as close to his step siblings as he is to his biological sibling. He would never not invite them. For any reason. If she can’t deal with that and continues to bombard you with negativity and refuses to have any adult conversations with you, I would invite her as a guest and let her make the decision.

Im so sorry you’re going through this, at a happy time in your life. I’m sure there are plenty of women, family and friends, in your life who will be positive, build you up, and show you that they do care about you. Try to focus on the people contributing to your happiness.

No, my friendships have remained solid. One funny thing though: a good friend who went through a NASTY divorce was super stoked and happy for me!! (I am divorced as well) I thought she might be all "Oh great.....good luck.....(eyeroll) but she was so happy for me!!! "Wow!! Second chances are great!!!" So ya never know!!!!

I’m sorry that your friend is behaving this way.
Since she’s not your choice for MOH then I would limit the wedding planning sharing with her. Have your MOH be the person you send that stuff to, and only send info to her that you don’t mind getting criticized, since her habit seems to be critical.

She sounds envious, and self centered. I would be cautious about including her in your BP. since she was not wanting to be a pregnant BM, then maybe that’s how you tell her she’s not in the BP, as a “convenience” to her even though it will benefit you more. Just an idea!

do what makes you happy. Enjoy being engaged!

View Quoted Comment Trust me. I know its all my responsibility and thats fine. I saying flaky as in not showing up for fittings or appointments to get their dresses. The frustration comes from a deeper level that Ive been friends with them since I can remember.

Hi! First of all, Congrats on your engagement!

I’m SO sorry that you are going through all this! I can totally empathize with you. During my engagement, I’ve had a few friends, that I thought were supportive, totally change after I announced the big news.

Throughout the whole wedding planning journey, I realized that you shouldn’t feel bad about being happy first off. Blessings are gifts and the people who truly love and support you will celebrate with you. Second, you have to be honest with your friends.

For example, when I told a friend “to save the date” her reply was, “You are killing me, that’s my birthday month! Hopefully I’ll be able to squeeze it into my schedule.” So when it was a couple months before the wedding and she was asking for her invitation, I was honest with her and told her that she made that comment and I chose not to invite her. But I spoke with her honestly and also kept a kind attitude.

if she is truly your best friend, you can talk to her. If she doesn’t respond well, please do not let her steal your joy. Choose to acknowledge that friendships are seasons of life. It doesn’t mean if you’ve been been friends for years, that you have to beg for her love. Move on, cherish the good friends you have and seek out friendships with other people who are positive, encouraging and loving. As long as you do your part and tried your best to save the friendship and she still wants drama...I say move on.

Focus on the fun times of wedding planning, surround yourself with love + positivity and look forward to marriage! Blessings to you