Hard time writing thank you to sister

" I'm sorry we missed you at the wedding, thank you for(insert gifts) they will come in handy."

Or leave out the fact she wasn't there and just thank her for the items she sent you.

"Thank you so much for the gifts, we can't wait to use the toaster you sent! Love, Mr. and Mrs. Dasha"

I think you should talk to your sister about her not showing up to the wedding. But I don't think the thank you note should reflect that at all. The thank you note should be exactly that, a measure of your gratitude for her generosity. At another time, maybe over the phone, or face to face, broach the subject and tell her how hurt you were.

I agree with Tallah. Simply thank her for the gifts, then speak to her in person about how hurt you were.

I would simply say exactly how you feel which to me goes like:

"Dear Christina,

While John and I are sad that you weren't able to join in on the celebration of this special day of ours, we feel especially grateful that you took the time to think of us.

Love,

Your sister

No need for comments about buying you off which lead to drama.

Try to separate the 2 actions. Don't look at the gifts as "she sent this because she missed the wedding" look at it as she sent you a lot of gifts, and for whatever reason, she also happened to have missed your wedding. I'm really sorry she did and you are feeling hurt by her actions- but any mentioning it in a note will only come accross as vindictive. Definitely find time to speak with her about it at a time when you can provide tone and inflection.

Judith and Larry and AMW for the win. Keep it simple. This might be a situation that will change, but maybe now isn't the time.

Judith and Larry and AMW for the win. Keep it simple. This might be a situation that will change, but maybe now isn't the time.

I honestly wouldn't mention her not being there in the thank you note. If that were me, and I got that wedding note, I would read it as passive aggressive and not really grateful.

Thanks guys... I think I'm going to write almost verbatim what Judith and Larry posted and send it out. I had no intention of mentioning how hurt I was in the thank you note - I am thankful for the gifts and I know it sounds stupid but almost all of my other thank yous came easily but when it came to hers, I just felt awful to the point of where I couldn't even think of anything to say at all! Silly? Probably but I felt like she was putting the nails into the coffin of our relationship but not showing. Thanks to everyone for the support and advice. I'm going to send the thank you out and with that maybe it will also help me to move on!

Sending you hugs, Dasha! I have a feeling that my sister will do something similar at my wedding.

Still send thank you note but you need to have a conversation with her about not coming to your wedding.

@TheHouseofAllen Hugs right back to you. It really hurts even if you expect it or not. I hope your day goes wonderfully with or without your sis!