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Kelli
Just Said Yes October 2020

Handling immature bridal party

Kelli, on July 30, 2020 at 11:29 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 19

Hello All! So I'm getting married on Oct. 3rd, like 63 days away, and everything is going pretty good after having to change some things due to COVID-19, but right now I am dealing with a very immature groomsman who continues to put off getting his tux fitted for the wedding. Myself and my fiancee have both talked to him on many occasions about going and getting his fitting done. So as we are getting closer and closer, He continues to not make a effort to do anything. I know work and lives get busy sometimes but he has stated he would do it on a day he had requested off and failed to do so. So tonight I contacted him and he became very rude toward me and basically said if I asked again, he wouldn't do anything for the wedding. This is supposed to be a friend of my fiancee since they were children and he views him as a brother. He has been treating my fiancee poorly as of late, and I am beyond livid over his treatment of my fiancee and now that he was rude to me, my fiancee is quite upset with him. Would it be a good idea for us to maybe take him out of the wedding?

19 Comments

Latest activity by Jenn, on August 7, 2020 at 2:44 PM
  • Alisa
    Devoted August 2020
    Alisa ·
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    I would have your fiancé give him the date he needs to order the tux by and leave it at that. if he doesn't get it ordered in time then that's on him an he risks not standing by his "brother" on his wedding day.

    i went to a wedding in Puerto Rico for a good friend from college and one of her two bridesmaids ordered her dress at the last minute and ended up ordering the wrong style AND color and had to take the dress for alteration and dyeing IN puerto rico. it was a mess. she spent 2 days there before the wedding stressing out and couldn't even enjoy the island. very immature and not fair to the bride at all.she was so pissed she basically said if the dress wasn't right she couldn't stand up beside her on the day.

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  • Kelli
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Kelli ·
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    Wow that is insane! I would of been mad for sure. We have given a lot of dates and even offered to take him up and take him out for dinner. it just seems like he doesn't care or didn't know what all he had to do when agreeing to be a groomsmen. Its just so frustrating and I hate to see my fiancee have to deal with a friend of his being like that.

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  • Aimee
    Super July 2021
    Aimee ·
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    If he’s upset that you all keep ‘bugging’ him about ordering his tux then if he doesn’t have it then he’ll just be a guest
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  • Michelle
    Master April 2021
    Michelle ·
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    That would definitely drive me crazy! I agree with a deadline. If he doesn’t get it done by the deadline than tell him he’s invited to the wedding but after asking countless times & he still didn’t get it done, he will not be part of the wedding party.
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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    Yup, he needs a firm deadline. If he doesn’t hold up his end of the bargain, cut him from the wedding party. The only real job a groomsman has is standing up next to the groom, and if he cannot wear the correct thing to do that, he doesn’t deserve the honor.
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  • Mindy
    Super November 2020
    Mindy ·
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    All three of my FH’s groomsmen have yet to finish their suit orders. The best man said he didn’t want to spend the money on the suit so far out (I gave him the link AGAIN on the 4th of July, our wedding is November 21st). The only one’s who have ordered and paid for their suits are my dad, his dad and him (but his will be free once the other guys finish their orders).
    But like everyone said, since he’s being a jerk and you guys have reminded him repeatedly, if he doesn’t get it in time, then he is not part of the wedding party.
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  • M
    Master October 2021
    Mrs.a ·
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    I would definitely consider removing him from the bridal party, and maybe even from the guest list. That is not only disrespecting you but is disrespecting your FH. I would not stand for that.

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    I feel like you're just wasting your time with him. It's clear he doesn't care at all and doesn't even seem like he wants to be in the wedding. For someone who is supposed to be so close to your fiance he doesn't even seem happy. I'd just cut him loose. Maybe he truly doesn't want to be in the wedding. Sometimes when you ask people to be in the wedding they feel obligated to be in it even though they really don't want to.
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  • Soon To Be Mrs. Stewart
    Devoted September 2024
    Soon To Be Mrs. Stewart ·
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    Seems like he's wasting you and your FH's time at this point like why is the fact of you guys being on him about getting fitted pissing him off. You guys are just trying to make sure he has what he needs to be in your wedding. Why procrastinate if he is really serious about being in the wedding and cares about you guys. Especially with everything going on things may take longer to get done so why wait til the last minute. Yeah have your FH give him a exact deadline and if he doesn't get it done by then to hell with him. I would have probably said to hell with him once he told me if I ask him one more time he's not doing anything for the wedding cause that just shows his views and where he truly stands with things. Good luck hope it all works out try not to stress even though I know it's going to be hard not to

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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    This. Let your fiancé handle and set the deadline. He’ll have to deal the consequences of his actions/delays.
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  • Private User
    Dedicated September 2020
    Private User ·
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    Our tux rental place had a deadline date for the groomsmen to be fitted by. We had a groomsman who never responded to any of our texts or calls. He finally got fitted before the deadline, but we still haven't talked with him. My fiance said if he didn't get fitted, he was out of the wedding. So if your groomsman doesn't get fitted within the next 2 weeks, I'd take him out. I know how stressful this can be.
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  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
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    If I was in this situation, we'd take him out of the wedding. I cannot believe how rude he was to you! That's seriously disgusting. Why don't people understand that when agreeing to be in a wedding, there are some things you have to do... One of my fiancé's groomsmen literally said he wouldn't rent the same suit they all were and was just going to buy something from some random store and was annoyed when he told them they all have to match and get the same thing at the same place... Like, are you kidding me?! I guess weddings really do bring out the crazy in people! So sorry he's treating you guys like that. I would take him out, that's not a good friend. Or you could just say, if you don't get the suit, then you don't get to be in the wedding - that simple.

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  • Kelli
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Kelli ·
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    I agree completely! I really think so peot don't know when they agree to be in a wedding what all goes into it. I have been saying for awhile about this groomsmen being a issue but my fiancee was trying to have faith in someone he thought was a friend but obviously he isn't a good one.


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  • Kelli
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Kelli ·
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    Thank you all for your advice! It is much appreciated!
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  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
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    Ugh yeah, it always sucks when you see someone's true colors. Your fiancé sounds like mine - a good guy who just wants to see the good in others. Mine has some questionable friends who've been less than there for him in times of need, but he loves them! lol

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  • Katie
    VIP August 2021
    Katie ·
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    Weddings definitely bring out the ugly side in people. I ended up removing my best friend from my wedding all together and removed her from my life as well. It sucks but I don't need to be friends with someone who treats me and my fiancés like crap and is always making extra stress for me. Like bye Felicia!
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  • Ashley
    Savvy September 2020
    Ashley ·
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    My wedding is September 26th and their tuxes aren’t due to be fitted until sept 1st. If they get fitted too soon and gain a few pounds it may throw the size off completely. I wouldn’t stress over it. They will get it done.
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  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    Don't kick him out of the wedding. He just needs to have the tux rented by the wedding, which is two months away. It really doesn't take very long to get measured for a rented tux and set up a tux rental. He's an adult and chafing under what he sees as you treating him like a child with the frequent reminders. Just let him be an adult and get it on his time and impetus. He doesn't need to be micromanaged.

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  • J
    Dedicated January 2021
    Jenn ·
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    I have one of those too... honestly; my FH and I just said if he doesn’t get with the program and he’s not ready on the day of... well then he won’t be in the bridal party. You snooze, you lose!
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