Hand Tying Ceremony

Do you mean handfasting?

View Quoted Comment Yes, sorry

View Quoted Comment

Updated it with the right terminology

Yes we are planning to do that type of ceremony!

I've officiated a couple ceremonies that involved handfasting. Here are some pieces of advice that you may find helpful:

1. Do not forget the handfasting ribbons/cords, (This has happened a bit too often to me and other officiants I know.)

2. Discuss whether you want the cord to remain in place throughout the ceremony and perhaps into the events afterward. I've had couples want to stay joined throughout the ceremony and cocktail hour. This means that at the rehearsal, we worked to figure out ahead of time which hands they wanted bound. We then did a trial run so that they knew how to move together. Other couples have only wanted to be bound for the handfasting portion of the ceremony, and then have the knotted cords/ribbon removed from their hands and stored for them with the wedding license. Either is easy enough to do, but need to be discussed ahead of time.

3. Think about how many cords/ribbons you'd like to use. You could opt to use a separate cord for each vow, or twist or braid together a few cords and wrap them as one around your hands. You could also just use one cord.

4. Figure out how you want the cord wrapped around your hands. Again, this could be one cord or one braided cord wrapped continuously around your joined hands. Or it could be multiple cords wrapped once and then tied.

5. Talk to your partner about what handfasting means to you as individuals and a couple. Are you doing this to honor Irish and Scottish ancestry? Do you want to do this as a sign of your love for each other? Something else? Think about your relationship and how handfasting can be used to elevate the things you honor in your relationship. For example, you can give different meanings to each loop that goes around your joined hands. They can be anything you want including references to ideas you hold in esteem, great memories, promises you both want to make to each other, or more. You can recite a poem together as the officiant binds the cord. The only limit is your imaginations.

6. If you're having a ring exchange, be sure to figure out when you want to do it. Depending on the type of binding you use, you may not be able to put rings on.

7. Let your guests know why you're doing a handfasting and what it means to you and your relationship. You don't have to get too deep into it, and it's a nice way of giving them a glimpse into a facet of your relationship.

Hope this helps!

Erin

We're doing a handfasting at our rehearsal dinner, as we are doing a Catholic ceremony day of (FH is Catholic, I am not Christian).

Here for the discussion!

Hi! I am a pagan and we will be doing a traditional pagan handfasting! We ordered our handfasting cord off Etsy!

View Quoted Comment Erin,

Thank you so so so much!!! We have talked about why we are doing it and we are not exchanging rings. I have looked up what colors mean and will be making our own cord so I can put as much positivity into is with every braid! I'm so excited and your advice is just what I needed. Thank you!

You're very welcome, Mandi. I don't know if this would be helpful, but here is the language I wrote for a recent couple of mine who had a handfasting. Thought you might use it for inspiration!

HANDFASTING INTRODUCTION

In some Celtic lands,

the joining of two people

was celebrated with a simple ceremony.

The two partners would join hands

and their wrists would be tied with a cord,

symbolizing the binding together of their individual lives.

It’s from this practice that we get the

expression “tying the knot.”

BLESSING OF THE CORDS

Please pass me the cords.

[Officiant raises the cord above their head.]

You cord, made of individual strands

brought together for goodness and strength,

I charge you with the power to

make Partner 1 and Partner 2's love stronger,

and help keep their vows true.

By the powers of land, sea and sky, you are blessed.

[Officiant to the couple]

Please join hands.

TYING OF CORDS AND BLESSINGS

In the presence of all assembled here,

I will now bind your joined hands,

Tying your individual lives together

To make a marriage of equals.

Partner 1 and Partner 2:

Please look into each other's eyes,

And reply with “We will”

after each of the following statements:

Will you honor and respect one another, and seek to never break that honor?

We will. [The cord is wrapped over the couple's hands.]

And so the first binding is made.

Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?

We will. [The cord is wrapped over the couple's hands.]

And so the binding is made.

Will you share each others burdens,

So that your spirits may grow in this union?

We will. [The cord is wrapped over the couple's hands.]

And so the binding is made.

Will you share each other’s laughter,

look for the brightness in life

and the positive in each other?

We will. [The cord is wrapped over the couple's hands.]

And so final binding is made. [Officiant ties cords together.]

Partner 1 and Partner 2,

as your hands are now bound together,

so too are your lives and spirits.

These cords represent your unique marital bond.

It is strong enough to hold you together during times of struggle

yet flexible enough to allow for individuality and personal growth.

Know that the knots of this binding are not formed by these cords

but instead by your vows, and your commitment to keeping them.

Remember, you each hold the making or breaking of your union.

BLESSING AND SEALING OF THE MARRIAGE

Now, by the creative powers: May your love and marriage be blessed

with the strength of heaven, The light of the sun and the

radiance of the moon, The splendor of fire,

The speed of lightning, The swiftness of wind,

The depth of the sea, The stability of earth,

And the firmness of rock.

May your life together bring you joy and excitement,

May you have happiness and may you find it in making one another happy.

May you have love and may you find it in loving one another.