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Just Said Yes August 2023

Half sister as a bridesmaid?

Marley, on January 3, 2023 at 6:21 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 3

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Hello, I would love some opinions on my situation. I have an older half sister on my dad's side of the family. He passed away when we were young and my half sister and I never livef in the same house, but she always made an effort to visit me throughout my childhood up until around I turned 18, when I started going out more with friends etc, and we sort of just drifted apart. Fast forward 10 years and we hadn't really kept in touch more except for the occasional text here and there. Over the last year, I decided to try and get back in contact with her, we've met up three times which have been great, but obviously both with busy lives we can't be in constant contact.

My question is would if be weird to ask her to be a bridesmaid even though we're not so close anymore? She's the only person on my dad's side of the family who really made an effort with me, albeit a long time ago since growing up and life just got in the way. And I would love to have her there as I think our dad would have loved for us to be close. I'm just worried she'll think it's a bit weird.

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Erin, on January 3, 2023 at 4:54 PM

VIP August 2021
Michelle · on January 3, 2023 at 9:01 AM
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If you are unsure how she would take it, then I think you should trust yourself that your relationship is not ready. Any connection takes trust over time even the familial. However, it doesn't mean she wouldn't be happy for you or feel honored to be invited to your wedding.
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VIP January 2019
Maggie · on January 3, 2023 at 3:37 PM
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There are so many reasons (and hundreds of past posts here for evidence!) why you should only ask people who are currently your nearest and dearest to be in your wedding party. There are too many potential issues that can come from asking out of obligation, out of a hope of strengthening/fixing a relationship, or out of wanting to fill roles with bodies.
By all means put the effort into re-establishing a close relationship with your sister, but do it unrelated to your wedding and without any expectations about her becoming close enough to be a bridesmaid in time for your wedding.
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Super May 2022
Erin · on January 3, 2023 at 4:54 PM
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Agree with Michelle and Maggie. If you’d like, you can attempt to re-establish your relationship with her independent of wedding activities, but it’s best not to use bridesmaid-ship to do that. It puts a lot of pressure on both sides (even if you keep expectations low) and if things happen to go wrong, the relationship could become strained. Pick those that you are very close to for bridesmaids.

Having had all 3 kinds of experiences in just 2022 alone (bride, bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding, and guest at 2 weddings) - I can say that even being just a guest is honorable and honestly sometimes a relief for people. As a guest, they’re still someone special celebrating your marriage but they don’t have to deal with the craziness of having to run around on the day-of, all day on a more complex timeline, get ready super early, or have to pose for pictures.
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