Michelle
Savvy May 2019

Had to elimate 2 bridesmaids and disinvite their family

Michelle, on February 24, 2019 at 8:28 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 19
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So, my 2 “best friends” have been kicked out of my bridal party and disinvited due to their opinions of my relationship. One told mutual friends I am marrying him for money, that is not true and she knows it. The other I just had to remove because she was so disrespectful to my FH about my bridal shower that she was supposed to be planning but hasn’t done anything and it’s in 2 weeks. I mean nothing, not a thing and then got downright disrespectful when he shot her text about what he was informed. I found out my sister asked to have it moved because of HER schedule, she isn’t even in the wedding. Like what is going on!?!?! My oldest daughter was planning it when the friend had opinions about choices so she backed off... who even has the balls to question things? It’s MY shower and she knows what I want. SMH. Anyone else having these issues?

19 Comments

  • Colleen
    Master September 2019
    Colleen ·
    • Flag
    Ok no one should be gossiping about you.

    At the same time no In HAS to Plan your shower. You kicked someone that is supposed to be a friend out of your wedding case they were not planning you a shower?
    then you get mad cause your sister asked to have the shower on a day that she would be able to make it?
    No no I do not have those issues. I am not expecting someone to throw me a shower. Nor if they did I would not be upset if my sister asked for it to be moved when it was still being planned so she could make it.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    No, not me. I decided to not to have a bridal party nor a bridal party.
    • Reply
  • Nemo
    VIP August 2018
    Nemo ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Spot on. Your post came off pretty entitled, OP.
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted April 2021
    Soon2BMrsR ·
    • Flag

    I know this is frustrating, but a bridal shower is just a custom just like a bachelor party. It's not really an obligation. It's nice when someone does it for you. That said, did she volunteer and say she was going to throw you one? Having her say so and then back out is one thing; just simply expecting it to happen is another. As for your sister. I think she should have talked with you about it first, before involving someone who isn't part of your family in the mix. I have known two brides who planned their own showers. It sucked, but both of them thought that because their bridal party was travelling in, that it was something they could do rather quickly and just have everyone show up and relax. I just stepped in and helped them figure out the food so they wouldn't be running all over town at the last minute.

    As far as the bridesmaid who badmouthed you. It's possible she did it because she no longer wanted to be involved, whatever the excuse was, there really is no reason for her to justify putting you in that light.

    • Reply
  • Futuremrsv
    Super October 2020
    Futuremrsv ·
    • Flag
    So not okay. They shouldnt be gossiping about you. I am so sorry this is happening
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Savvy May 2019
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    I didn’t want a shower. I just found out about issues when one of the BM texted my FH about it. Everyone knew that I didn’t want them to put out any more money then they would have to because it’s a destination wedding. I paid for their dresses, im paying for their hair and makeup, I even rented a HUGE beach house for all of them and their families to stay in so they didn’t have that expense... for a WEEK! I am sorry my post came off as entitled, I certainly do not think I am. I have literally just texted the remaining that I do not want any kind of shower and that although I appreciate the sentiment it’s just not worth it. And yes the one I kicked out was the one who insisted to the rest that I needed one and she would start planning it and then AFTER the RSVP’s started coming in... she realized it would be more then she was planning on (exactly why I told them no) and canceled the venue that was booked and just didn’t do anything further! So now the others have to contact the yes’s and cancel. As far as my sister, she CAN make it... she just doesn’t want to drive on a Saturday due to traffic going back after. That’s not ok. I was just venting about the issues. Its not worth getting into on here too. There is a lot of judgement on these forums... noted for future.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I’m so sorry this happened to you. I hope you’re able to enjoy your day with the rest of the people who have not done stuff like this Smiley sad
    • Reply
  • L
    Super August 2018
    Lisa ·
    • Flag
    Hey girl, I was in the same position (as far as getting rid of a bridesmaid). I had to get rid of my maid of honor 2 weeks before the wedding because I just couldn’t handle all the bad mouthing she was doing about me, my mom, and my FH. We had conversations to try and air out any frustrations, but sometimes you can’t take the nasty out of someone. I hope it all gets resolved and your day is very special. I know I was relieved!
    • Reply
  • Lianna
    Dedicated May 2019
    Lianna ·
    • Flag
    I just had to kick out my MOH for her being disrespectful so I feel you on that! No one in the wedding party should be degrading towards the people they are supposed to be celebrating with.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Dedicated August 2019
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Same, sister!
    • Reply
  • Fwbride
    Super July 2019
    Fwbride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I think you misunderstood her post. I don’t think she’s being entitled. It doesn’t sound like she kicked her out for not planning, but because she got disrespectful with her fiancé about the shower. She stated that her daughter was planning the shower until said bridesmaid decided to take control of things just to let it fall through.

    Just know I am not trying to be rude, just trying to explain the situation so everyone’s on the same page. Sounds like the poster is very frustrated already and needs some encouragement.

    OP I have been through what you are going through and I promise you, you’ve done the right thing. Anyone who is disrespectful towards you and your fiancé risks getting removed from BP. I hope things go a lot more smoothly now that youve taken out some problem people. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Iva
    Super September 2019
    Iva ·
    • Flag
    That is too much unnecessary stress & drama. I’m sorry you’re going through it 😐
    I would use this as a learning opportunity to re-evaluate my close relationships & reassess how I choose my friends, if my best friends are like this. There are two sides to every story & we need to choose our close people wisely.
    Hope you resolve this!
    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Ditto! Great decision so far haha

    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Super October 2019
    Brittany ·
    • Flag

    I'm having issues with one of my bridesmaids but unfortunately she is my step sister. I can't really kick her out of the bridal party unless I want my life to be living hell. However, I think you're doing the right thing. You don't want people who disrespect you or your FH. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I'm starting to think maybe I shouldn't of formed a bridal party...it just seems like so much unnecessary drama.

    • Reply
  • Natalie
    Dedicated June 2019
    Natalie ·
    • Flag
    I’m so sorry you’re going through this stress!! I had to kick two of mine out towards the beginning as well bc they couldn’t keep their mouths closed. They constantly put down my FH and me behind my back. NO ONE should have to deal with the stress you’re going through!
    And per your previous comment, I don’t think you came off as entitled at all, people on here just like to take things the wrong way.
    • Reply
  • Joelle
    Savvy August 2019
    Joelle ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think you were acting entitled at all. I understand ur position and feel for you! This should be the most exciting time for you. When u clarified everything in your second post, I understood you more.

    I hope everything works works out for you. My bridal party is siblings only and my mom is throwing my shower so I do not have the same issues but I understand u!

    Good luck!
    • Reply
  • A
    Master October 2019
    Angelena ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Omg, yes based on all the rest of this information I would be livid. Who the eff plans a shower, books a place, then cancels it and leaves the guests who RESPONDED YES hanging. Absolutely not, that's so so rude and poor social skills on her part. I would've dumped her too. Your sister is being inconsiderate too. It ain't about her. Also I would've also kicked out the other one for bad mouthing your relationship. Sorry you had to deal with all that extra drama! Hopefully now things can run smoothly again. Are you going to be able to get your money back for the expenses you paid for them like the stay and dresses?

    • Reply
  • Quinta Nikkole
    Dedicated May 2019
    Quinta Nikkole ·
    • Flag
    I also had to kick my maid of honor out because she was disrespectful to me. At the same time I lost my flower girl. So not only did I have to find a new maid of honor I had to find a new flower girl.
    My new MOH wants to throw me a bachelorette party, which I do not want. Because I dont want to worry about having to go to the city for the day. I just want to go out the night before the wedding and have a drink with friends from out of town.
    • Reply
  • Quinta Nikkole
    Dedicated May 2019
    Quinta Nikkole ·
    • Flag
    Also sorry that your friends were being crazy people, sometimes we just have to move on from the craziness
    • Reply

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