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K
Just Said Yes September 2019

Had to cancel last minute and feel terribly!

Kt, on March 24, 2022 at 11:58 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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12 weeks had to cancel 3 days prior but to an out state wedding due to a condition causing extreme morning sickness (lasting all day long) and high blood pressure and being suggested to take it easy by my OB yesterday. I even clarified if that mean driving 4 states away for a wedding and got absolutely not. I was starting to feel better and then Took a nosedive on Sunday. The drive to the wedding is about 6 hours so there’s no way I’d last. I let both the groom and wedding planner know and haven’t heard back. Should I follow-up? I am mortified we had to cancel so last minute and am so sad to not be able to celebrate. I’ve offered to cover the cost of our plates and I’m putting their card & gift in the mail. Also send them flowers for delivery today. I just feel so so so terribly I know how much planning goes into these things. Am I terrible for not going? Anything else you can suggest doing?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Jacks, on March 24, 2022 at 7:17 PM
  • Ashlee
    Super September 2022
    Ashlee ·
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    I wouldn't reach out again, I think you're going above and beyond what most people would expect. You're taking care of both yours and your baby's health, so you're absolutely not terrible. Send your card/gift, and maybe a week or so after the wedding, send a congrats text and say "I hope you know how much I wish we could have been there, and hope you got the gift, congratulations again! We hope it was a wonderful day" or something similar, but definitely don't reach out again in these final few days.

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  • T
    Expert May 2010
    Theresa ·
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    Oh dear, I'm so sorry you're going through this! You're not terrible, and you've gone above and beyond in your offer to cover the cost of your food. I'm sure they will appreciate the card, gift and flowers. I imagine, three days out, they are very busy and will get back to you at some point. I'm sure they'll understand. And if not, you can always provide a doctor's excuse! Smiley winking (kidding)

    Seriously though, I wouldn't worry about it. You don't need your morning sickness getting worse, or your blood pressure going higher because of stress.

    Sorry you have to miss the wedding! Hugs to you, and I hope things improve for you soon.

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  • PermaGrin
    Devoted June 2022
    PermaGrin ·
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    I had pre-eclampsia twice early and severe - I didn't follow my doctors advice to cut work hours- I did not have the best outcomes. This is NOT a time to feel guilty for prioritizing you and your baby's health.

    Also - I had severe preeclampsia with my now 12 year old son - I was put on bedrest early and everything turned out ok - but please listen to your doctors without feeling guilty. This is a situation everyone understands.

    I agree with reaching out maybe a week after the wedding. For now - rest up and keep calm!

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  • Orianna
    Devoted December 2022
    Orianna ·
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    Don't feel bad at all! Things happen! Very close friends of the family had to cancel the day before my brother's wedding because of a family member (mother) who got very sick and they had to leave town suddenly for her. I think you've already gone above and beyond by letting them know.

    Life happens and you have to take care of your health first. Your friend will 100% understand.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Oh my goodness I'm sorry you're going through all that! I think the medical reasons are definitely exceptions to the rule about RSVP's. I wouldn't feel bad at all that you had to take care of yourself!

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