Had a panic attack at my shower and now I’m terrified for the actual wedding.

Let me first say that I understand and it’s often scared for people to be the center of attention. My suggestion is that when the ceremony starts you focus ONLY on your FH. When I walked down the aisle I didn’t see anyone except him and once I got up there I forgot everyone else was there. It’s all about FOCUS and deep breathes. You can do this. Talk to your FH and explain what you’re feeling so he’s aware and can help you through it during the ceremony. Once the reception starts he will be by your side and you will get through. Good luck!!!!

I've never seen clapping, cheering, or squealing during a ceremony so I really don't see that being an issue. Maybe during the recessional, but you will be with your FS and it will be a quick walk down the aisle. You can also skip the grand entrance into the reception if this is a real concern.

I am so sorry. I think your wedding may be a little better because the attention will be on you AND your husband rather than 100% directed at you. Also maybe avoid things like a “grand entrance” or a big exit that’ll make you too much in the spotlight and feel too overwhelmed. You could do a first dance that involves other couples too... like you could have your MC invite other couples to the dance floor to share your first dance (we didn’t plan to do this actually, but after about a minute into our first dance I started to feel so anxious about everyone staring at us and I couldn’t imagine going for another couple minutes so we both just stepped back and started yelling “EVERYONE COME JOIN US!” and that made it so much better 😂). You could also ask for an unplugged ceremony, or even an unplugged wedding altogether, to avoid the cameras being shoved in your face!

Also, as a last resort, Bach’s Rescue Remedy Pastilles (they are sold on Amazon, and you can also get them at a lot of health foods stores) are literally magic for me. I too am prone to panic attacks and usually if I can take one of these right when I feel the panic starting to come on, it’ll nip it in the bud and put a stop to it. It’s all natural ingredients and just relaxes you. Maybe just pop one in your mouth before walking down the aisle or something to calm your nerves!

You can totally avoid the grand entrance at the reception! Usually ceremonies are quiet and respectful. The only cheering will be after you kiss and walk back down the aisle, but you will be so happy and your husband will be with you. You can skip the entrance into the reception and just casually walk in un-announced. This is typical to people who hate the attention. You might also want to skip the first dance/cake cutting/etc. because people will surley be clapping then. Just remember that they are celebrating you, not trying to make you uncomfortable.

I tried to cut the reception entrance and first dance, FI is not for it. He loves attention and he loves people. He’ll probably give in if I push hard enough, but it’s his wedding too so I feel bad taking something from him that matters.

Those aren't nearly as terrifying to me as the ceremony entrance though, when I have to be a zoo animal. Even if it’s quiet they’re still staring at me like I’m an object on exhibit.

And I’m not confident that people will practice basic decency and put away their phones/cameras, even though they’ll be repeatedly told to.

View Quoted Comment

I think its almost typical now that people put their phones away when asked at the ceremony. Of course they're will always be a few who don't. But I totally understand your nerves. I know your getting close to the wedding and that amplifies the feelings. What do you do to normally relieve your panic attacks? Maybe in your time leading up the the wedding you can really focus on those remedies so that way when the big day come you know how to help keep them at bay.

Maybe you could have a trusted family member or friend get up before you come in & say something like, 'As this is her big day, we all want things to go her way. The bride asks that there is no photography & no clapping (or whatever bothered you at the shower). These are her wishes & we ask that they be respected.' This is a big day for you & your FH. It will also be a long day, especially if things annoy you. Whoever does this announcement doesn't even have to say that it's because you had a panic attack & if you get asked why later, you can say you had a headache. Brides are allowed to do things like that.

Best of luck & much love!

Such good advice by all PP. Especially the part about focusing on your FH. Try try reduce overall stress about the day (don't worry about things that aren't life or death). If you've been treated for panic attacks then you know the fear of having another one is the debilitating part. Maybe try some cognitive strategies to help you when you start thinking about it? What's the very worst thing that could happen if you DO have a panic attack? Then what?