Guests

Yes. Absolutely ! In my culture weddings are so large because it’s mostly parents wanting to invite their friends even if you don’t know them

Yeah my mom tried it by asking about inviting some of her friends. But my FH and I both have big families, so once I explained to her that even some family members won’t be invited because we don’t want to go over our guest count of 150 she understood. The guest list should be determined by you and FH. If it’s bothering you have a respectful discussion with the parents to explain your concerns. I know that gets tricky in some cultures.

We asked each of our mothers for a list of everyone they'd like us to invite but made it clear that we might not be able to accommodate everyone. We then went over those lists and compared them to the one we already had. If someone was on one of theirs but not ours, we discussed it with each other before mentioning to the mom. Asking for their input ensured that they felt they were being heard, at the very least.

I would tell the families that instead of inviting people before you get the chance to send out your Save the Dates and/or invites, you'd love it if they should share that information with you first. Let them know that you're trying to keep the guest list around X number of people. You don't want anyone to feel left out, and you want to be sure that everyone who is invited gets to be invited properly instead of just by word of mouth. Ensure that you and your future spouse are on the same page and each address your own families.

I have a sneaky feeling his mom might try to bring uninvited people but we live and are getting married 7+ hours away from our families which helped us keep the guest list small. We are maxing at 60.
If we have gotten married where we grew up, our guest list would have easily exceeded 200 because of all the family friends and extended family members.

My first go around before postponing we added a few of her (FMIL) friends. When we postponed I let her know since we’ve had to limit our guest list, we wouldn’t be including them. (Yeah-for me! as I wasn’t thrilled to begin with and now there’s a great excuse!)