Guests Who Show Up But Don't rsvp

After a certain point in time, it feels like we're having to *beg* people to attend, which has been somewhat demeaning.

Why was your RSVP date more than two months before the wedding? That’s likely why people are unsure.


We didn’t have anyone not rsvp and show up, but our RSVP date was only 3 weeks before our wedding.

Honestly, 4/2 is very early to set as a deadline for a 6/26 wedding. If you are unable to wait until closer to your event, you will just have to take a firm line and say if we haven't heard back from you by XXX, we will assume you are unable to attend and miss celebrating with you.

As soon as your rsvp date passes, you get on the phone immediately and track people down.

We did not have anyone show up to our wedding that did not RSVP.

RSVP's are typically due back 3-4 weeks before your wedding. So a lot of people might not know their plans, or Covid's plans, this far in advance. I would give people another few weeks. If you don't have a response, I would expect they are not coming. Or, if you really want to, you can reach out to them again.

I agree that your RSVP deadline seems like it was too early. But I'm confused about this statement: "The other 40 or so were all contacted (April 10th) and said they planned on attending." If they said they were attending, that sounds as RSVPing. So, include them in your headcount for the caterer/venue and you are good to go.

Yeah, when we sent out our invitations as well as on our wedding website, we specifically put any RSVP not received by our deadline will be assumed as regrets. I feel like because we did this we got a lot of RSVPs back rather quickly. We got in a large chunk of our RSVPs like 60% in and it has now come to a halt. There are people that we know for sure that are coming that still haven’t RSVPd like my FH’s brothers for example. But for everyone else our deadline is our deadline. I’m definitely not chasing people down. We plan on making one call on the day of our deadline to whoever didn’t rsvp and if they can’t give us a definite answer or if we get a voicemail and don’t hear back that day we’re going to kindly tell them that they can watch virtually as our venue needs the count. It’s something that we have to be strict on it because we definitely don’t want to run into that issue where people show up without RSVPing, but I also don’t want to chase people down to go to my wedding either.

Why is your RSVP date now if your wedding isn’t until June? That’s way too early to know schedules. Give them more time