Guests wanting people added to the invite list

If anyone does that, then you simply take their address and throw it in the trash, and not invite any of them… Or at least I would. 😂 but I mean honestly if your guest list is going to make other people upset and feel like they should have any sort of say, then maybe they shouldn’t even be at your wedding. You don’t “have” to invite anyone.

I think significant others should be added / invited as a social unit (especially if people are traveling). However, for example, just because you invite your aunt doesn't mean that you have to invite her adult children. We had families that tried to add people that we didn't want to invite and I just simply said that our venue had capacity limitations.

I think if you're paying for this, it is completely up to you! I did do the "if one cousin is invited, invite them all" but that's me .. and I don't have too many. BUT! My cousin's kids are like 20 and 26. The older's husband is invited, but I didn't invite a plus one for the younger. a) i've only met him (my relative) once b) I had no idea he was in a relationship (turns out it was brand new). My cousin told my mother they were adding an additional person even though they physically couldn't on the online RSVP. Ummmm no ma'am. My advice ... decide where you draw the line and stick to it.

Significant others incling boyfriends/girlfriends are automatic invites. Anyone else is not negotiable because it is no one's place to dictate your guest list, including your parents.

Hi Janna. If you want to invite some cousins but not all of them, don't invite all of them especially if you're not close to them. You don't owe mom and dad any explanation.
As for the SOs, I disagree with Michelle who said significant others including boyfriends and girlfriends are automatic invites. You don't have to invite the SOs if they are in a new/casual relationship. For instance: my partner and I are only inviting the SOs if the friends/cousins/coworkers have been in a relationship with them for at least 6 months by the time.

I'm not sure why we would invite a guest's boyfriend or girfriend "of the month". NO WAY! Our wedding date is apr 16,2022 so in mid-oct,2021: Those who are single by the time and those who are not but will after, are coming alone or not at all if they don't want to attendbecause of that but ... no extra invite for them.
Another rule we made: the SOs who meet this requirement are not automatically invited. If we haven't BOTH met the SO, our friends/cousins/coworkers have to introduce them to me and/or my partner BEFORE the rsvp deadline because we don't want any introduction at our wedding, including the rehearsal dinner.
At the end of the day: YOU AND YOUR OTHER HALF MAKE ALL DECISIONS if you are footing the bill regardless of what dad and mom think.

If they are paying or contributing they get a say.

We're having a fairly small wedding and my motto is "If we wouldn't invite them to Thanksgiving dinner, we're not inviting them to the wedding". At the end of the day, you're paying so don't let people (even Mom and Dad) add guests that you don't want to add.

The cousins thing can be a sticky area.

If you're wanting to invite one cousin out of a family group of 4, you should probably invite all 4 unless you're really keeping small and intimate and that cousin is more super close friend than obligatory family.

However if it's 2 cousins on one side and you don't want to invite cousins from the other side (i.e. 2 cousin on mom's side and 4 on dad's side) you can invite just the mom's side and skip dad's side. That's what my FH is doing (because we're really close to the two cousins and can't stand the other two on his dad's side).

Invite in circles, but if someone is in a relationship they get to bring their SO because they're a social unit.

Uggh. I ran into it the other day. Two of my guests want plus 1's and they are not dating. I am allowing everyone else a plus 1 but it would be rude to not allow them.

They waited until the last minute to book a room as well so I am not sure if they are going to be able to find a room.

My RSVP due date is tomorrow. I need the final count by next week and if there are more than 75 people going then I have to pay for each after that. It's so stressful.

I think if the people have spouses/significant other others then they are invited but random people you dont know.. i would tell them unless you want to pay for their attendance being there, then i will do what i have planned.

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Oooph, why do weddings have to be so complicated? Seriously, everybody seems to think it's like a family reunion where, even if you respond late, people will be excited that you're still coming. Good luck getting your final count in and done and deciding what to do with the latecomers. When is your actual wedding?

I mean, it's a wedding, right? It's supposed to be a joyous occasion. It just bugs me that people I didn't even know existed are being invited by others. Next thing I know, my dad's second cousin's stepson's, girlfriend's dog is going to be coming....
We have gone back to the venue now twice to revise the numbers. We started with 75, then we bumped it up to no more than 100, then 115, now we're up to over 130. I'm just not even going to try to get another estimate. I'm just going to hope that most of these people don't show up. Not only is it expensive, I have a terrible fear of speaking in front of others, which means doing my wedding vows in front of all those people is going to be a disaster! but that freak out is for another time!

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I am getting married May 7th. We have our final meeting next week for the venue. At that point, they are Shxt out of luck. It is not joyous for me right now. I had a guest tell me I had no more rooms left on my hotel block. I emailed the hotel about it and there are still rooms. I dont understand why someone would lie about that. I was supposed to have 75 people but it ended up being more. I think we might have 80-90 people show up now. I dont get why people have the AUDACITY to ask the Bride and Groom if they can have a plus 1. Now I have no choice because I allowed others to have plus 1's....

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I agree...the only thing is, these are my dad’s cousin’s children (which would make them my 2nd cousins or third cousins? Second cousins once removed? I don’t even know), who i’ve never met and didn’t even know they existed until I wrote this post. And they’re adults, so it’s not like they can’t be left alone without their parents. Also, I was put off by being told ‘you have to add’ as opposed to, ‘would you mind adding’....there’s a big difference between a demand and a request. My wedding is 14.5 months away and I’m already tired of planning.....

View Quoted Comment Oh god yea I wouldn’t invite any of them if you’ve never met. That makes 0 sense. You have no relationship with these adults so it’s perfectly fine to skip inviting them.