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Dedicated June 2020

Guests that invite themselves??

Madelyn, on February 19, 2020 at 5:42 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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Okay. Here is the backstory:

My fiancé has a close family. His uncle (by marriage) also has a larger and closer family. Today my fiancé texted me and said that we are going to have to invite his uncles family (like his mom and sisters and their kids) to the wedding. Why? Because they asked when the wedding was and put it in their calendars to be there. It’s not even my fiancé’s family- just his uncles family. And I hardly know them- I probably couldn’t even tell you who is who. Am I in the wrong for wanting to talk to my fiancé about not inviting them? Also how would I even approach that subject? We are already reaching a high guest list and I don’t think I can afford anymore people... thanks in advance!

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5 Comments

Latest activity by Leslie, on February 19, 2020 at 11:17 PM

Master September 2019
Sherry · on February 19, 2020 at 5:57 PM
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You will just have to let them know that you are sorry for the confusion but the guest list has been finalized and you cannot accommodate anymore people but hope that you are able to celebrate with them another time. I would also not give anyone wedding information that will not be invited and don't send them an invitation. Good luck!
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Dedicated June 2020
Madelyn · on February 19, 2020 at 5:59 PM
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Thanks for the advice! Also I guess I forgot to say this but it’s was my future mother in law who told them the wedding date...
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on February 19, 2020 at 6:05 PM
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I don't think you need to invite them, especially if you can't afford it. If your fiance wants to and you're okay with it, I'd tell his mother she has to pay the per person cost for them if they come since she invited them without okaying it.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on February 19, 2020 at 6:43 PM
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I do not feel you are in the wrong to have a calm discussion with your fiance that it is bothersome that this decision was made without consulting you. He should mention to his mom that you two finalized the guest list and financially cannot afford more people. If she becomes adamant they come then she can help pay. I think both sets of parents need to be asked to not add more people to the list as sometimes parents feel they have the right to invite too.
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