Guests showing up unannounced

You double check with all non replies. You just have to chase them down.

Typically, you just message people with a light-hearted, "Oh, we seem to be missing your RSVP! Please let us know if you are coming! If we don't hear from you by X date, we will regretfully mark you down as not coming."

People get the hint.

I wouldn't assume no replies as regrets. Follow up with each no reply after the deadline to ask for their response. There's a chance they just forgot to rsvp. It probably wouldn't go over well if your DOC turned someone away at the door

There is also the issue of the USMail. They may actually have put it in the mail 3 weeks ago, and have no idea you have not received it. Always check, with a phone call if possible.

Our deadline was yesterday & our final headcount is due on Friday. I’m using to grease next few days to track down the stragglers. I’ve messaged those who haven’t responded. Just gotta say people who don’t respond suck! Like I don’t have enough to do??? Lol!

Dang auto fill! *these NOT to grease!

Hi DJ! Luckily we did not have any unexpected guests arrive, but did follow up with a call with a handful of RSVPs that didn’t come on time. Like previously mentioned, they did show up in the mail like the week of my wedding due to mail issues 😂 My venue stated they always have a few extra meals on hand just in case. ❤️

View Quoted Comment Yeah, we’re not doing mail in RSVPs. Specifically for that reason… Also not to mention if I have to RSVP my mail I’m very lazy myself and might wait till the very last minute. I feel like the electronic RSVP is on my wedding website or a lot easier.

View Quoted Comment Cool thanks for the info. I mean the thought of “chasing people down “just seems uncouth to me. Which is why we put the whole if RSVPs are not received by May 1 it will be assumed as regrets. Our RSVPs are all electronic, but I guess it is probably for the best if we do reach out to people The day before the deadline. As you can see I woke up at 2 AM thinking about this, hence my post at two in the morning lol ughh!


I feel like we may have a pretty high turnout, but one of my aventures friends from high school called him up to say hi a few months back and he lives in a different state. He mentioned our wedding even though he wasn’t even invited and he said “I wouldn’t miss it for the world “ lol. So we ended up sending out a save the date. My fiancé ended up sending him a text message a couple weeks ago to see if he was still interested in going because of coronavirus and my fiancé received no response back as of yet. LOL needless to say we’re not gonna bother sending him out an invitation as he wasn’t even on the guest list in the beginning anyhow

We were lucky enough to only have 2 couples miss the RSVP date, and one of them was my cousin. So I just text him to see if they were able to make it or not. I'm glad I did because they were planning to come and just forgot to RSVP online. The other couple we reached out to as well with something like "Hi XXX. We realized we did not receive your RSVP and wanted to double check if we will be able to celebrate with you at our wedding on October 5th?". It was quick and easy.

Things get lost in the mail all the time. You should contact everyone from whom you don't receive a response to double check.

View Quoted Comment

Never mind about the lost mail. But I would still check in with guests who don't respond. It's technically one of your duties as a host, and eliminates the worry about guests showing up who didn't RSVP.

I think you'd need to follow up with anyone who doesn't RSVP

View Quoted Comment Exactly what we did this past weekend! Amazing how many people just ghosted us. Have a little compassion towards the already stressed out brides!

View Quoted Comment It’s amazing how people think I’m going to get offended if they don’t want to go. LOL At this point I’m just viewing it as money saved. It’s really a win-win for me whether they go or don’t go

View Quoted Comment I’m looking at it as money saved, too! Plus, if they won’t respond, I don’t want them there ☺️ Wedding etiquette would be if you’re invited, you send a gift, but I’m not expecting anything. You can’t expect rude people to be decent.