Guests paying for wedding house?

Are you renting the house regardless of whether people are staying there or not? If you are I wouldn’t charge them to stay and just offer it to your bridal party and immediate family.

You’re using the house as your venue and you would still need it even if not a single guest decided to stay, you should pay for it.

Since the house doubles as your venue, I would pay for it and offer a select group (your VIPs) to stay in it with y'all for free. Just let them know that they will need to pitch in for house food, toiletries, etc.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. If you're using it no matter what, don't ask people to pay. You definitely don't have to offer 55 people a space in the home though.

View Quoted Comment These. I’d have bridal party, maybe immediate family. But I’d also be cautious not to overcrowd the house. Just because it can sleep 55 doesn’t mean it should, especially leading up to the wedding (sounds chaotic for you [people hanging around in the way, people wanting to visit when you’re trying to get things done etc etc] ...also for what it’s worth HOW it sleeps 55 is important : I’ve also stayed in a 5 bedroom beach house that “sleeps 20” which works for a party weekend among college friends, but not really what id want for a wedding weekend— that’s not when I want to be sleeping in a room with 2 sets of bunk beds haha— I’d be sure to be providing people with private bedrooms when organizing sleeping arrangements [and as a guest id likely choose a hotel over shared room situations]) so id limit it to the few you really want to be surrounded with at that time, and then it evens out as the people you’d actually like to cover lodging for and not “just the half of our guests who responded first” as then it gets into murky waters . But yes, you should pay

Great comments McSkipper. I would also check as to shared baths. IMHO, shared baths only work for parents and kids. I am guessing the house does not accommodate 55 comfortably.

To me, it seems inappropriate to let the guests pay since it would be your venue so you'd have to pay for it regardless. I'm assuming those guests will still have to pay for travel & food & all that, so I wouldn't have them pay towards the house (unless they offered or insisted).

View Quoted Comment I’m definitely not completely filling the house, It’ll probably end up being 30-40. It is quite roomy and does fit everyone very well there’s 16 bedrooms and every single bedroom has its own bathroom so no one is sharing a bathroom with anyone other than who’s in their room. I wouldn’t put anyone together other than close friends or family like I’d have bridesmaids in a room together but If it’s an older couple they’d be in a king suite by themselves with their own bedroom and bathroom! Couple with kids would get a double queen room, etc. I’m not worried about who’s in the house or room arrangements i just wasn’t sure about payment, I already planned on letting my bridal party stay for free but they were the ones telling me that people should be paying to stay in the house and me and my mom thought it was rude so just wanted some input on that! Thanks!

If you tell me I had to share room with other bridesmaids, I would not be willing to pay for that. Only exception being my sister. Not my cousin, not my college roommate. I am not in college anymore.

I get it, that you are not worried about who is sharing rooms, but if you want people to chip in, there is no way, no how I am going to pay to share a room with anyone other than my DH (or fiancé at the time).

I agree with your mom, and I suspect that once you drill down to room occupants, any money you hope to raise will be less.

View Quoted Comment My bridesmaids are my best friends who are 23-24 and we’ve all been best friends for 20 years. We all still go away together and share rooms, even beds, all the time. And it’d only be two per room they’d each have their own queen bed and then share a bathroom. None of them are in relationships, have a fiancé or anything.

View Quoted Comment Your wedding is over a year from now though. You shouldn’t be planning for all these girls to continue being single for the next 16 months.

Personally, I’m of the belief that if you’re using the house for the wedding regardless of whether people are staying there you have no reason/right to charge them to stay.

View Quoted Comment That’s why I’m only putting one girl per bed in case they do end up having a guest, I’ve already talked to all of them about it and they’re completely fine with it since they’re all so close. They even said “idc if we have to bring an air mattress I’ll sleep anywhere” that’s not going to happen but I know they’re fine with the sleeping arrangements. If I’m inviting them to stay in the house for free I don’t really see how they could complain about where they’re sleeping, and if they want their own space they can stay somewhere else if they want to. I know if it were me I’d be happy to be asked to stay in the main house and would sleep wherever, or If I wasn’t comfortable I’d figure something out on my own.

I agree and will not be having anyone staying in the house pay, thanks for the input!

We had a whole INN, and I know a lot of other people who have done that. With at least half of their guests nearby. They did not charge anyone who stayed in the Inn, and we did not either, because the common areas and grounds were our venue. And they, and we, had planned to pay for lodgings for our bridal party people anyways. With 1 member of the wedding party and their spouse, fiancé, or SO in each room, that accounted for 8 bedrooms, for us. And my parents and his, plus 1 room for his great aunt and one for my grandmother, that was 12 bedrooms plus us. We had a shared room, and a stuff room, lots to keep before and after the wedding. So that accounted for 14 of 22 rooms for us. And 7 rooms for couples with infants, and one room we set aside on the ground floor the whole time, cribs and changing tables, that became the nursery with sitters wedding night, but the whole time was for when parents were in downstairs areas. 22 rooms sounded like a lot. My parents and his kicked in a share, their own, and for some of the parents with recent babies who could not have afforded to come to the wedding otherwise. That was our parents contribution to the wedding. Each wedding I have been in (4) or hubby has (3) since we were together, with an Inn or B and B for at less 5 days, the couple or family paid all. If you have a really small WP, you may have few rooms for them and their SO. But it does not seem fair for them to subsidize your venue. It is not as though 4 nights that they are there, they can invite people they know in the area to be their guests for dinner, or to picnic on the beach, which they could if they paid for rooms themselves, anywhere else. So you are restricting their use of the common space and the beach of your lodgings for your people only, for the week. And having people you invite over, people staying elsewhere, some of the time, but not letting them have their friends or family.

We’re going to have the house for 7 days, so it’s a vacation with everyone plus the wedding. They’re all from New Jersey and know no one in the area other than me and the others that will be here for the wedding. All of the bridesmaids families will be staying in the house as well, and if they have a SO at the time they’ll be there too. All of our families are extremely close so anyone that they’d wanna spend time with is already in the house. If they wanted to go off and do something by themselves it’d be fine with me as long as it’s not the rehearsal or wedding night.

I think it would be rude to offer space and then say you have to pay. if you invite them, you should eat the cost.

One thing you should really think about is if you want to stay there after the wedding. It sounds fun and great now, but it may be too much closeness once the wedding is over!

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We're only gonna be there one day after the wedding! We'll be there for 5 days before the wedding, then we have the wedding day, and then the day after for a brunch and then beach/pool/bbq day to recuperate before everyone goes home! lol

Hi Casey,


I hope your wedding was everything you wanted and more! I found this post because I had the same question, and if I’m correct, for the exact same venue you were asking about in the post (Black Stallion?). I had a few questions about logistics and how things ended up going for you and your family and what you decided on doing with the rooms.

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I'm looking through this thread with the exact same question and for that venue. What did you end up doing?