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Shannon
Super July 2022

Guests not putting pics out

Shannon, on January 26, 2022 at 9:22 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 11
So I’m not a big social media person. I have Facebook and keep it so a smaller number of friends. I see you can ask guests not to use their phones during the ceremony and have it “unplugged”. During the reception as well, I prefer not to have guests snapping potentially unflattering pics and plastering them all over social media. Some of them have thousands of friends most of who they don’t know. Lol.
It’s a hashtag in reverse. Has anyone done this and how? I can ask the DJ to make announcements. Do guests listen?

11 Comments

Latest activity by Natalie, on January 26, 2022 at 8:55 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    It’s fine to tell guests not to take photos during the ceremony as it’s an intimate moment in your life and the pictures would undoubtedly include you. It’s really extreme and borderline tacky to tell them they also aren’t allowed to take pictures at the reception. Lots of couples take photos together at weddings while they’re all dressed up and there’s no reason you should tell grown adults that they can’t do that. If you’re worried only about photos of you, change your social media settings so that you have to approve your tagged photos.
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  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
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    I have heard of couples asking guests to not post pictures of the bride and groom until the couple posts their wedding photos. I can understand that because I would want to control which photos of me get posted off my wedding day. For Facebook, you can change your settings so that they can't post tagged photos of you, but you really can't control whether they post on the other social media.
    It would be kind of tacky to have the DJ announce it though. Do you have a wedding website? You can add it there, like under the Q &A, that you prefer that guests not post photos to social media. If I was your guest and saw that, I would respect your wishes.
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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I don't think you can control phone use at the reception politely.

    For the ceremony, sure.

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  • Zully
    Dedicated September 2023
    Zully ·
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    Unplugged ceremonies are totally understandable. An unplugged reception though? That one is a little difficult to enforce. People love memories and are going to want to take pictures with their family and friends, of themselves (what’s a wedding without a selfie?!), and you and your new hubby because they love you! It sounds like your main concern is people posting unflattering photos of you. Anyone who truly loves you wouldn’t post anything on social media that would embarrass you and if they would then they don’t belong at your wedding! If you are really worried about it though I would add something on your wedding website along the lines of “we’ve chosen to share this special day with only those invited. Please refrain from sharing on social media.” Again, this will be hard to enforce (especially if you post wedding photos) but at least you made your intentions known. I personally would not announce it at your wedding though.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    You have no authority to control guests’ use of their on cameras. It’s impossible and inappropriate to enforce the no photos rule as well.
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  • Miriam
    Dedicated June 2022
    Miriam ·
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    I’ve always been curious how big celebrity weddings pull this off! Contracts with every guest?
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  • Shannon
    Super July 2022
    Shannon ·
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    View Quoted Comment


    That and they have their phones taken away at the door. I’m sure people don’t enjoy that.
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  • JW
    Dedicated September 2021
    JW ·
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    What if you add this to your signage/seating chart/program: "Enjoy the party and take plenty of pics, but please, no social media spoilers. We look forward to announcing our nuptials on social in a day or two, and we absolutely need your help to keep the surprise."

    Not for the DJ to announce, though. Print it in your materials for the ceremony and reception.

    This way, guests can take photos. And even if they post on your day, they might be more likely to say something vague like "great time celebrating wonderful friends" or "beautiful sunset," and you can rest a bit easier. The one catch, is you should be willing to post at least one photo of the two of you on your Facebook within the timeframe you say. Check with your photographer – a number of wedding photographers will now provide at least 1-2 digital images within 72 hours for this reason.

    This is the way we handled it, and our families and friends respected our wishes without any hard feelings. It helped that we also explained that we had a virtual celebration with our international family planned for later in the evening and didn't want to risk spoiling anything for them. The handful of posts that our friends shared that day didn't tag us, or use our names and they sandwiched pics of us in between their selfies around the venue. In fact, they were so low-key on board with being discreet for us that even we didn't find their posts that easily! Weeks after while scrolling feeds, it was like, "hold on, we know that garden in so-and-so's pic!"

    And as a PP said, also change your settings so that you have to approve any photos you're tagged in.

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  • Jacks
    Rockstar November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    That's the first thing I thought of. Then I thought, maybe they're celebs, lol! If you're not a celeb, I think it's not going to come off well to your guests, unfortunately.

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  • Mrs. Coakley
    Master June 2017
    Mrs. Coakley ·
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    There's no way you can police what other people do with their personal property. People are going to take pictures and post them. Some of my favorite pictures from my wedding are candids from guests!

    If you're worried about being tagged, there are settings on social media where you can approve tags before you're tagged in them. Congrats and enjoy your wedding!

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  • Natalie
    Super November 2020
    Natalie ·
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    I agree with those who suggest changing your settings to approve tagged pictures. While our professional photographers were fantastic, some of my favorite photos from our wedding were those taken by guests. We did not have a videographer, nor did we have an unplugged wedding, but one of our guests actually videoed our vows. While some don’t want phones out, I was so thankful that people were able to capture these moments for us!
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