Guests List help - who did invite and who did you cut?

Our guest list has always been around 50ish so we haven't had to cut. But we did decide if we did, we'd cut 50% which would just leave immediate family (siblings / spouses and our parents - grandparents deceased). While I would love to extend it further, I wouldn't want to choose as to who's friendship is more valuable.

View Quoted Comment Did you keep friends?

View Quoted Comment

We won't. Again, how would you choose and not hurt anyone's feelings.

We went from 130 to 50.

We kept: Parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends we have known for 10 plus years or we were extremely close with.

We cut: Great aunts and Uncles, great grandparents (Didn't want to risk them coming to an event), work friends, school friends, all children over one year, and cousins.

I found that cutting out kids drastically reduced my head count. I’m only allowing a few kids to come as their parent(s) are coming in from either across the country or from South Korea, making it hard for them to get a baby sitter. I’m also making sure those who are invited are people me or my fiancé have talked to or saw within the last 12 months. Don’t feel obligated to invite someone just because you were invited to their wedding either. It’s YOUR day and you can choose who can and can’t be there. Do not let anyone get under your skin over hurt feelings. Wishing you the best for luck!

View Quoted Comment School friends as in college friends? What
If we’ve known college friends for 10 years?

View Quoted Comment

It's up to you. We do not have college friends so I was referring to highschool friends. The ten year thing was just a random number. We did not really go by it. We pretty much just kept our longest and closest friends.

We didn't want to have to cut our list so drastically, so we postponed our wedding for a year instead. Hopefully we'll be able to have all of our planned guests on the new date!

We made pretty drastic cuts. First we made a “must be there” list, then a 75 person list, followed by a 100 person list. Honestly, just use your gut. If you’re feeling that a friend is more important than a family member, do it!! It’s your day!


We also posted something in Facebook asking folks who knew they wouldn’t be coming to message us ASAP so we could plan accordingly. Everyone has been so communicative and kind, and everyone wants you to be happy- they all know you’re stressed.

I decided to cut everyone except for our parents. With COVID, they may not even come.

I agree that friends from out of state could be put on the "virtual" list and cutting parents friends is probably a good option as well. But you want to cut out your FH's family? Personally I wouldn't do that... If you're going to have your parents there why shouldn't he have his?

View Quoted Comment Oh noooo! I’m never cutting out my FH family, he has college friends that all live in different states. And I was wondering should we cut them? And also parents friends?

View Quoted Comment I also invited my older brother sister in law and his mother in law. Should I remove them as well?

View Quoted Comment

Ohh ok! I'm sorry I read that wrong. So honestly I think people will completely understand given the current state of the world. I would say parents friends are ok to cut out and college friends, especially if they live out of state.

Well my fh Family is also out of state in Mississippi. Me and FH and my family resides in Texas. I’m definitely not cutting out fh family because some of them are extremely excited and already booked hotels. But as far as college friends he has 4 in Mississippi, 2 in Georgia and 1 in Virginia. And the other 2 friends are located in Texas as well in our city. My parents 2 friends live in Texas as well.

View Quoted Comment

Hmm I'd say invite your brother and sister-in-law, but maybe not his mother-in-law. If you have any kids on the list you can consider removing them as well. I'd start with your bridal party, obviously they'll be there, and their dates. Then your parents, grandparents, and if you either of you have siblings not in the wedding invite them. Then branch out from there.... when it comes to aunts, uncles, and cousins consider who you're close to. I don't personally think you have to invite them all if you don't want to. There are several cousins on both sides that we did not invite to our wedding because we don't really talk to them. If you want close friends there that you know are not in a committed relationship, don't invite them with a plus one (although you traditionally would). Some of the people you invite might surprise you with declines because they're worried about the virus or just can't make the trip to the wedding. I'd also say if you have co-workers on the list, unless you're really good friends with someone in particular, consider dropping them.

View Quoted Comment My brother will be there regardless he’s our officiant. He has a sister in law and a mother in law.

View Quoted Comment

In an ideal world it would be nice to have both your brother's sister-in-law and mother-in-law, but for the sake of cutting people I'd say it's ok to cut them off your list.

We were originally at about 150, and cut it down to about 90. We invited only immediate family (parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, first cousins, grandparents) and our own friends. After RSVPs, our total is about 70.

We politely uninvited everyone else (parents' friends, great aunts/uncles, second cousins, etc) and asked them to join virtually instead.