Guests Assuming Kids Can Come to Wedding??

Address the invites ONLY to the parents. Just their names. Be prepared for some pushback, be prepared for some phone calls with you saying "I am sorry for the misunderstanding, just you and Jim were invited." BE STRONG - some folks can't take a hint and want to bring their kids everywhere.

They are in the wrong -- it sounds like you did everything correctly. Since the one couple has already brought it up, it makes sense for FH to pull them aside this week and say something along the lines of, "we didn't want to talk about it at the party the other day since there were people there who won't be invited to the wedding, but, unfortunately, the wedding invitation is just going to be for you and spouse, not cute little Susie. I'm sorry if there was a miscommunication; we hope you'll be able to make it." Sorry people are so clueless....

Put only the adult names on the invitations and make sure on the RSVP cards to put, " 2 spaces reserved in your honor"...that makes it clear only 2 persons are invited.

I also would make sure the wedding party gets the word out and through conversation make sure that people are aware. You might even put a little note on the wedding website that states, "Respectfully, we would appreciate an adult affair". People will assume and will show up kids in tow unless they are told otherwise. People these days believer their children should be at every little thing and do not understand that others might not feel the same way for whatever reason.

You don't bring it up unless they ask. I am a parent, I do not assume my kids are invited anywhere and I am pretty chill about things but it would rub me the wrong way if I was told, "Oh by the way, John and Michael are not invited" or some other wording. Just invite Mr/Mrs Dillydilly and we will get the idea. It is bad manners to state who is NOT invited. Don't worry too much - most people understand and those who don't? "Sorry we will miss you, see you at Christmas!"

Edited to add: It is NOT your problem they bought clothes for the wedding they are not invited to. Not your issue!!

Yikes that is really awkward. I would have FH say something like, "I think there has been a misunderstanding. I should have said something in the moment, but we aren't able to accommodate any children at our wedding. We hope you can still make it."

I think that this was probably just a one-time thing. Most people will get the hint when they get their invites. Where are your online RSVPs? Usually you can select from a drop-down list the number of guests attending so you are able to limit the number of people you can RSVP. If you are concerned about other guests with children, I would personally give them a call.

If they have very young kids as you say, be prepared for them not to attend if they can't bring their children.

I also agree with putting "followed by an adults-only reception" on your website. But some people you'll have to speak very directly to. We also were able to arrange for childcare at our venue, so we pointed people in that direction if they couldn't leave their kids at home or with a family member. I did make an exception for one woman who had an 8-week old baby and the childcare center didn't accept babies that young. But newborns aren't children, so I feel like that's a perfectly defensible distinction.

This is what I found with some Googling and put on my wedding website, I personally think it's a good way to go. You can also say something similar (maybe a bit shorter) to anyone that needs to be corrected in person.

"In order to allow all guests, including parents, an evening of relaxation, we have chosen for our wedding day to be an adult only occasion. We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day and will enjoy having the evening off!"

ETA: Seeing on other forums that many people find this rude because you're saying it's for the guest's convenience. I always thought of it as more for the evening overall, rather than saying that someone can't have a good time if their child is there, but to each their own, and use your judgement

On my RSVP's, I have a line that says "____ of ____ will be attending) I will fill in the second blank. So even if I address it to only the adults, they can't jsut say 3 are coming. I will put 2 and they can decide 1 of 2 or 2 of 2.

I had this happen for my wedding. My fiancé and I are extremely involved in our church's youth group as volunteers. We invited some couples that volunteer with us that have children in the youth. Their invitations only had the parent's names on them, not their children. I had one couple RSVP with their 4 daughters.. so 2 people just became 6 on our guest list!! We ended up not saying anything (because we really love this family) and we had enough people decline their invitation, so we had plenty of room for their 4 children...

I didn't say anything to them b/c I felt the same as you, it's super awkward to have to tell someone "sorry, but we don't want your child at our wedding... hope you can find a sitter! thanks for getting us a gift!"

I'd say- if you truly don't want children at your wedding, it is best to be upfront. Of course, be polite, but be firm. They should be understanding, this is an expensive event to host, and the most important day of your lives, you deserve to have it exactly the way you want it!