Guests and gifts (or no gift)

Do people not have manners? It's a wedding, not a club. You can't just bring people to a wedding, just because. Unless it says plus 1, the only one's invited to the wedding are those on the invitations.

Please do not let me run into this problem, I will go off on someone. Not for not bringing a gift, that I could careless about, but for bringing random people who were not invited to the wedding

Sorry Susan, that sucks, and I'd be pissed. Do they know weddings aren't exactly free, or cheap

Completely disrespectful to you. Do NOT send them a thank you.

No offense, but a thank you card for what? I understand that the notes thank people both for their participation and presence and for a gift, but... how is it that they brought 3 people you didn't even know? That's awful! Granted, "old" etiquette says they have a year from the wedding to send you something. I think these days it's more like 2-3 months, but...you never know, they may send something. I wouldn't send a thank-you card until/unless they do. I am still trying to wrap my head around bringing 3 uninvited strangers to your wedding. Makes me wonder if we need to issue UPC-coded invitations or something - sheesh! (Just kidding, I don't think our guests would do that.)

Wow. Do not send a thank you - they were rude enough to bring strangers to your wedding and not even give you a card. Just, wow. I agree with Will be Mrs B - If that happened to me I'd completely have a meltdown.

It took me a few weeks to even figure it out. We made a list of what we got but I didn't compare that to the guest list and then I was pissed.

I did have others who brought a date which was totally fine with me. 3 friends that no one knew but her was way overboard.

I do hope no one else runs into this. Thank you for all the support ladies! And they will NOT be getting a thank you note from me!

Dinner is the thank you for attending. Thank you cards are ment to thank people for gifts not attendance. I would def not say anything to them. Its like going to a restaurant. A tip is a nice gesture and expected as most places, but not a requirement for attendance, and a gift is the same way. I don't even go to people's houses for dinner without bringing something, so I would never go to a wedding without something, but there have been times my present has been delayed. For instance, I sent a case of wine to my cousin about 6 months after his wedding because I waited for the photos to come back then had a case of wine made with thier pic on it. So you never know, but Thank you cards should not be sent unless you receive a present :-)

No thank you card, I don't know the reason that happen though.

Not trying to make excuses for them but I don't know what situation they were in at the time, I have to admit that I went to one of FH's friend's wedding's last year and didn't bring anything with me, that was the first time I didn't give any gift at a wedding, mainly because FH was in the wedding, he had already spent over $400 and I had just walked in 2 weddings the last 2 sundays and was flat out broke, my next paycheck was already going to pay bills that are past due. I just couldn't afford to buy anything, not even a candy, till today I still feel bad about it. The wedding was 7 months ago.

Anyway, I always believe that thank you cards are sent to those who give gifts, so you wouldn't be sending a card to them at all anyway, right? Am I wrong, 'cause I sure do not plan on sending thank you cards to anyone who didn't send gifts, that's why we're thinking of having some type of note to think guests at the receptn

People inviting random strangers to a wedding seems to be more normal than we think ... one of our guests wanted to bring his cousin (who we don't know/ have never met) since his family couldn't come with him and FSIL also wanted to bring a work friend with her.

We found out about both of these intentions accidentally and had to set them straight that it is a small intimate ceremony with OUR friends and family ONLY - and it's not as if they won't know anyone there either. The 1st guest is a long time friend and the whole 'crew' will be there and they are all still in touch and obviously FSIL will have her family there.

All the same, as rude as they were, I would still send a thank you note. Just make it less personalized and more generic "Thanks for sharing our day with us". I would only send to the invited guest and not the entourage though.

That is so weird! People have some nerve! That is just so disrespectful to come to your wedding and bring people you dont even know! You invested a lot of thought, care, time and money into your DH and your day and that should be appreciated and respected. Do not send a thank you because it's not even like you can really thank them for even being there. I understand if people are going through financial hardships and cant afford a gift but atleast make/get a card to congratulate you and all.

Like everyone else said. I would not send a thank you card.

My own sister didn't get me a gift while her and her 4 kids came and all got a free meal. And she had the nerve to let the first words out of her mouth to me be complaining how I put our family in the hot sun while my husbands family all got the shade. Are you kidding me?!? Like I planned that out.

Why would you even worry about sending them a thank you cards? Thank you cards are for the guests that gave you something and you send the card to thank them for their gifts.

I'm with Brian, I'm curious to know how she ended up bringing not one but 3 strangers, did her invite has +3 and did she rsvpd for 3 more? Just wondering 'cause that seems really odd

I've known her for about 10 years now and her and her BF have been dating about 5 years but just moved back to the area last year after being gone for about a year. We are "bar" friends and have gone on motorcycle rides together and to dinners and social gatherings. She helped plan the bachelorette party (but heard recently that she didn't help financially with that although told me she did). 2 of the friends were her friends from out of town who were in town visiting her. the 3rd was someone local who I know of but never sat down and had a conversation with. I couldn't tell you what her name even is. Apparently, they had plans to go to the beach that day but it rained so instead, they accompanied them to the reception. My wedding ceremony was private but everyone was invited to the reception.

They are still in the bar 2-3 days per week so i don't think it was a financial hardship. Maybe they thought I just wouldn't notice? I don't know.

...or it was an opportunity to party on someone else's dime. Sorry, but I can't see how that can come across any other way. And sorry that happened to you! Of course, don't let that be the highlight of your wedding. They ate your food and drank your drinks, don't let them take a piece of your memory of that day, too.

I think it's rude to have not at least brought a card, but perhaps they meant to send something and just haven't gotten to it or forgot. Or maybe it was lost in the mail. (Yeah yeah, this is probably being too optimistic.)

Anyway, I'd still send a thank you card for coming. Be the bigger person... and at the same time remind them by not thanking them for a gift that they didn't send one.

Thank you cards are sent when people give you something so you don't have to send thank you cards to people just for showing up. In this case, you'd be sending a thank you card that might as well read "thanks for crashing my wedding where you partied, ate and drank for free." I wouldn't send it and I completely understand why you're pissed off. I would be, too. I understand why you'd be ticked that they didn't get you a gift - mooching and no contribution of any sort (seems ungrateful). I hope this doesn't happen to us!

Definitely NO thank you card... what can you thank them for? Coming uninvited? yea NO WAY!

For people who traveled far and didn't give a gift I would still send a thank you, thanking them for their presence. However I couldn't imagine not giving a gift, and at the LEAST a card.. just seems beyond rude!

Girl there were several guests who did not give gifts. I was shocked and thought my mind was playing tricks on me.... I said no children as wedding location had a pool and lo and behold they brought a baby in a stroller on top of 2 extra people and they were seated near the pool.

No gift = no thank you card!