Guestlist....

No, you're not wrong for that at all. I'm not sure if you have an easy cut off you can give. My husband and I decided that anyone invited had to be a part of our lives - as a couple. So any friends, extended family, or family friends who hadn't been a part of our lives together in the last 5 years wasn't invited. It was an easy way to minimize the guest list - by a LOT.

Is MIL paying for the wedding? If not, she doesn't get a say for what YOU want on YOUR day. This is the only day I'd say you and FH get to be reasonably selfish, starting with choosing who you want to spend the day with. Stick to your guns on keeping the wedding small, it'll make your day less stressful.

Good luck!

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Not paying for the wedding, BUT gave us a sizeable donation to our 'future' to use as we wish- house, car, college fund for kids, wedding etc. Which makes it slightly more difficult. Ironically we wont be using any of this money for the wedding, but she wouldnt know that

You are definitely NOT being unreasonable! This is YOUR wedding. You invite whoever you and your FH want. I hear so many stories about this and how stressed out it makes the bride and how they regret it in the future. It is not your MIL's wedding, its yours. Do not do anything / invite anyone you don't want there. Your wedding is a day to celebrate your love with you family and friends, not for drama. I agree with Madison - be selfish! Good luck and enjoy

Not unreasonable at all! My MIL wants to invite her friends also, same situation as you, when my FH told her no she started to cry and guilt tripped us, so now we have to invite them but we’re putting them at a table all the way in the back away from our families so no one will notice them.

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If it is for your future and not your wedding you dont need to invite them. Your future does not involve her friends! Only yours and your marriage. I know this may sound super difficult, but you need to set some ground rules early. Or else this will flood into requests later in life with your husband and your decisions for other important matters. Best of luck!

View Quoted Comment Money complicates it a bit but still stand your ground. Their behavior makes you uncomfortable and that's what matters.

If you are footing the bill, the guest list is 100% your call! If not, pull in FH to back you up. It is your wedding, not FMIL's social gathering. She can hang out with friends another night.

Thanks all. Just wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable. Just this particular couple have recently made a complete show of themselves at another wedding too, and I dont want my family having to feel uncomfortable at our wedding. Never mind that, I dont want to be uncomfortable at my own wedding and fear being told to be quiet (which has happened before by said couple). I wouldnt mind but FH feels the same, but they're a very close family so he feels somewhat torn

It's good you and FH are on the same page. It is your choice - it doesn't matter who is paying or sponsoring the wedding. If someone makes you and others feel uncomfortable, there is no reason to force yourselves to deal with that person. Ever.