Guest Rsvped with a plus one but she doesn’t have anyone in mind yet.

You kinda screwed yourself by giving her a +1 in the first place. But yes, I would tell her, "I need the name of your guest by ____ (whatever day your RSVP deadline is) or I will mark you as coming alone." If she tries to bring a guest at the last minute, there won't be food or a seat for them.

No, that would not be appropriate. You invited her and a guest. Why are you trying to take it back? Plus, there's still a month before the rsvp date. Leave her alone lol.

No, it would not be appropriate to take back the +1 you offered her. When you extend a plus one, it is up to the guest to decide who will fill that position. She has done her job by RSVPing yes, she will be bringing a plus one, so that you can plan accordingly with seating, meals, etc. She can literally wait up until the day of the wedding to decide who she brings.

I once attended a wedding as a plus one of a guest. My place card said “plus 1” because he literally asked me to go with him the day before and how could the bride know what my name was. I don’t know what the real etiquette is here but just sharing my story!

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Because I cannot wrap my head around RSVPing on behalf of a person who doesn’t know if they’re going! Why send us back the formal RSVP so early then when she could’ve waited a month to figure it out first?

Is the wedding date on your profile correct? If so, it's understandable why she may not know who she would be bringing more than a year out. However, I agree with others that, while it's understandable you may be frustrated, it's also rude for you to take back the plus one. I would give her the month.

View Quoted Comment You can't wrap your head around it because you're not seeing it from her perspective. When you're single and not in a relationship, it can be a struggle to decide who to bring to a wedding. You giving her a plus one was very nice and I know she appreciates it. But even if she is undecided the day before, you still gave her a plus one. You can't take it back.
Her RSVP for 2 was being courteous to you knowing that you need a count for planning purposes. I don't understand why the name of a person matters for you to count them. If you're worried about place cards or seating chart, you can put "guest" or "plus one". Or see if she has a name a month from now. Until then, stop pressuring her.

View Quoted Comment I totally missed the April 2023 date. Why is OP even sending invitations this early?!


Peach, wait until March 2023 and ask her then. Of course she doesn't know yet.

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Sheesh chill. I’m not pressuring her I literally just asked for the person’s name. I have no problem of her bringing someone, obviously, but I should at least know the names of who is attending my own wedding by the date I asked by. If that cannot be done, I don’t see how it’s appropriate to rsvp for a nameless, faceless person, who may or may not show up.

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The date is Christmas tree-ed.

View Quoted Comment Are you really asking her for the name of a date she is bringing to your wedding that is over a year away? You came on this forum asking for opinions. It's pretty obvious from everyone here that is would be unrealistic and inappropriate for you to take back the plus one if she doesn't provide a name in advance. Now that you're saying the rsvp is for *a year* in advance, it's just absurd for you to require a name.
Your argument that you don't want a nameless, faceless guest is moot because you have already decided you were ok with that when you invited a plus one.

Why do you need RSVPs when your wedding is 15 months away…?

I assume that the rsvp deadline has passed already and the caterer needs a final headcount ASAP. Get in touch immediately today and ask if she has a name for her guest. Otherwise you will need to count them as a no.

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No, the RSVP deadline isn’t until a month away - that’s why I don’t understand why someone would rsvp immediately when they don’t know who’s going with them yet. If you don’t know who is coming with you, why say yes, plan for two when there is no second person yet?

I asked her to let me know the name of the second person by the requested date. I think if she doesn’t get back to me by then I’ll ask her again at that point. No name in my book = no plus one.

Oohhh, the RSVPs are due a month from the wedding, not a month from now? Frankly, if you sent me an invitation with an RSVP now for something a year from now, I return it, too. There's no way I'd be able to keep track of it for a year. It would get lost, or thrown out. And, it would be a Maybe because I wouldn't have any idea what my availability is a year from now. Why did you send them out so early?

It's best to wait until the caterer's deadline to ask for a final decision from your friend. You've given her a +1, and it would be rude to take that away now.

Sounds like she’s planning on using it though, so it would definitely be rude to take it away.

View Quoted Comment This is why you wait to send invites at 6 weeks instead of 3+ months. No one can commit before 4 weeks and the rsvp due date is 3 weeks before the wedding. The information gets lost and forgotten and guests are confused in general when sent earlier than that.


When you do track down guests to see who is attending or not, you don’t ask them anything before the rsvp due date because it is seen as badgering. People rsvp for others in all sorts of strange ways and you have to wait until after the reply deadline to reach out for any final confirmation.

View Quoted Comment A plus one is a plus one!! Literally giving someone the option of a plus one is allowing them to bring an extra person that you may or may not know. You can't ( well shouldn't) be mad or upset if you don't know the person's name because that's a chance that you take when you allow guest a plus one. You can always put "plus one for xyz" or " guest of xyz". I think taking it back would be really mean of you, as long as she RSVPed for a plus one then your head count will not be off no matter who she brings.

View Quoted Comment This says it best!