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Tineshia
Beginner December 2022

Guest List

Tineshia, on June 16, 2020 at 1:43 PM Posted in Planning 0 35
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Hi Everyone,


I am struggling with my guest list. I come from a big family....lots of uncles, aunts and cousins. We both have grandparents who are living. We are planning an out-of-state wedding, at a beach. How can I narrow down who to invite, so it won’t be such a BIG costly wedding? All suggestions are welcomed and greatly appreciated. Thanks!

35 Comments

Latest activity by Danielle, on July 7, 2020 at 7:53 PM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I would make the guest list to people that you talk to currently or have been talking/keeping in touch for at least a year or so. that way it keeps the list more recent

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  • Tineshia
    Beginner December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    Makes sense. Sounds good. Thank you!
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  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
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    My FH has a very large family and we decided to keep it to "immediate" family - parents, 3 siblings and their spouses (our grandparents are deceased) and just a couple of more guests we will still have roughly 25 with immediate family only, but it's manageable.

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  • Tineshia
    Beginner December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    Thanks Margaret. That’s what I was thinking too! Thanks
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  • Sara
    Devoted August 2021
    Sara ·
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    I had the same issue, my family is GINORMOUS. So we decided to only invite family that we have seen and talked to within the last year or two. That cut out a lot of extended family for us and I wouldn't have it any other way!
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  • Tineshia
    Beginner December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    Thanks Sara! This seems to be the best way to go!
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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    We chose our guests based on relationships not titles. Im of the belief that titles don't mean anything especially if not lived up to. We want those they have made it a point to be in our lives to share in that special moment. If we haven't seen or spoken to you within a year you're probably not that much of a staple and haven't earned the right to be there.
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  • Martha
    Devoted February 2024
    Martha ·
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    I agree a hundred percent I have family I have not spoken to and not for a lack of trying I've tried but its been a one way street. Everyone who has made the effort will be there, those that have not will not even notice.

    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    Decide who you can't imagine spending the day without in attendance. Make sure that close friends are able to attend too if you want them there.


    The ceremony doesn't cost more than what your officiant charges plus the marriage license. The reception can be done on a budget to accommodate a large group. Use a local restaurant for catering..since they don't charge extra for weddings.
    Make a list of the most important elements and skip the rest.
    • Reply
  • Laquita
    Expert July 2021
    Laquita ·
    • Flag

    We both have very large families so we decided to keep it at those whom we still have constant contact with in the last year. Those who need to know, will know & others will have to just wait until we're able to hold a bigger celebration at a later date.

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  • Tineshia
    Beginner December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    OMG Ingrid I can totally relate with some. This is really a good point. Thanks
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  • Tineshia
    Beginner December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    Martha, I do believe in supporting those who have supported you. Thanks for the advice.
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  • Rebecca
    Rockstar August 2019
    Rebecca Online ·
    • Flag

    Dark humor: wait for the wedding drama to cause a portion of family to not talk to you, problem solves itself! (Not recommended, but can be highly freeing.)

    Reality: what Melle said. Who are you close to? Which family do you see all the time?

    Go from there. Most people draw the line at first cousins.

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  • Tineshia
    Beginner December 2022
    Tineshia ·
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    Lol thanks Rebecca! I think that’s where I’m drawing the line, first cousins.
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  • M
    Just Said Yes May 2021
    Monaija ·
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    You can narrow down who you talk to the most, who is there for you the most things like that.

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  • Courtney
    Expert July 2020
    Courtney ·
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    I agree. I have a big family as well and I kept it to people that I either see or talk to regularly. Those you don't talk to often may not even come if you did invite them. I also ask your caterer if prices are cheaper for kids. For example, all kids 4 and under eat at no cost with our venue, while kids 5-10 eat 2 for 1 adult price so that cuts back a lot on catering for us!
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  • EmeraldBride
    Dedicated June 2021
    EmeraldBride ·
    • Flag

    I am in the same boat. I have 106 people on my dad's side of the family alone including grandmother, aunts, uncles, cousins, their spouses, and second cousins.

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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    You're welcome
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  • K
    Savvy October 2020
    Karen ·
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    Well said!

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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    Thank you, it takes the emotion out of it.
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