Guest list

As always the starting point is communication. Talk to your fiance. How would he like to see this situation handled. Make sure he is clear on your feelings about this situation. Go as far as having him talk to his cousin about the rocky relationship you have with his wife.


Sadly, it seems as though your choices are quite limited. Certainly, the cousin must be invited. I would be most inclined to invite the cousin with a "plus one" without naming the wife specifically - though this will most likely cause drama. Etiquette deems you take the high road and invite her since they are married.

I’m sorry she has been so difficult to deal with. I do think, however, that even at a smaller wedding, there’s so much going on that you can pretty much avoid her attitude. I agree that you should have a conversation with your fiancé to see if he can talk to his cousin and see if there’s a way to patch things up before the wedding. But if not, I would still keep the peace and invite her if your only concern is that she’ll give you a cold shoulder, even on your wedding day. If you think she’ll actually be disruptive, then that’s different. But even as one of your other guests, if she’s standoffish to them, I would personally be like ok that woman is shy/rude and not attempt to make any conversation with her again.

Unfortunately, the cousin and the wife are a package deal. No, you can’t give him a random +1. Her name would go on the invitation.

Her treatment of you is something that FI’s cousin should have addressed before and separate from any wedding talk. If the behavior rises to actual nastiness and the cousin is willing to tolerate it then he’s at fault too. If her behavior is more subtle then there’s nothing much you can do. Why do you think she feels this way? Does she have some grudge or is there a misunderstanding? Could an honest conversation help?

Unfortunately there are some people in life we just don't click well with this seem to be the case for you with your fiancé's cousin's wife. My mom always told me growing up that I don't need to like or be friends with everyone but I did need to be kind to everyone. In this case a married couple should be invited with both names on the invitation. Not inviting the wife or inviting the cousin with a plus one would just create unnecessary drama and possibly appear petty. You don't have to hang out with her just be polite and enjoy your special day. Personally I wouldn't spend my energy worrying about her and maybe she won't even come. Best of luck to you

Unfortunately, as his wife/partner, she needs to be invited. You don't want to be known in the family as that bride that was rude to a family member. It would be a very public slight not to invite her.