Guest List

Show him the numbers if you were to invite everyone- sticker shock usually does the trick.

Let him know that your ceremony will be the most important part for you, so you want to keep that intimate with only close family.

I personally am having a small wedding 25 people immediate family only. The main reason is because I don’t want to meet new people on my wedding (fiancé’s family), or have to catch up with my distant family. I just want it to be about us, with the ones I love.

View Quoted Comment Yes I can let him know that. But his argument is that he has more close friends and needs to invite people who are coming out of town for our reception to the ceremony too because they are coming from abroad. So needs to invite them as a courtesy. He thinks I’m not being understanding and he got super upset at me for repeating the same thing so many times and even called me stubborn.

I think that calculating it and showing him the price will do the trick. I used a couple of these that I found on pinterest to make the guest list concise.

Maybe you can have him read the list of who to invite. This is an example: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.brides.com/story/questions-to-ask-before-inviting-wedding-guests/amp

There are questionnaires out there so you can figure out exactly who to invite. If you don’t even know them I’m sure it will be weird to have them there in the ceremony, when you’re saying your vows and you look out at the crowd and wonder, who are those people?

Maybe you can talk about the aesthetic of the wedding. That the brides party will sit on one end and the groom at the other end, and if you invite 15 people and he invited 50, that it wouldn’t work out. If he is upfront with the out of town guest I’m sure they wouldn’t mind, but maybe he is too nervous to tell them.

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He's not wrong. The only time it is okay to exclude some people from the ceremony is when you are only inviting immediate family only. No one else. You are choosing to invite some people over others and this generally will cause some hurt feelings and people will be offended. This is especially true if you have people traveling to your wedding and more so if they are flying from another country. You and your FH need to discuss your guest list and be on the same page and it sounds like you need to give him more credit because he is thinking about the guests' feelings about being excluded from the ceremony.

View Quoted Comment Completely agree.