Guest List?

We did ours almost right away, and I'm glad we did because we both thought we wanted a small wedding (like 40-50 people), but our list of must-haves added up to 75 people! That really helped us set a realistic budget, develop a savings plan, and also start looking at venues, because we knew the size of the space we needed and what we could afford. I would say other times I revisited it were 1) when you start meeting with florists, if you are using one, so that you know how many tables you will need centerpieces for and 2) when it comes time to mail save-the-dates, because there's no turning back at that point! We do have a couple on the list who still might get invited but aren't getting Save the Dates just in case we change our minds.

I would suggest keeping a list now of who you want to invite, so you have an idea for your budget and space needed in the venue. I wouldn't recommend promising invites to anyone until you're ready to send out Save The Dates. But there is nothing wrong with starting your guest list now and modifying it as needed until you send out Save the Dates!

View Quoted Comment Hey Stacey, thanks for your reply.


Yeah we started and was planning for 150 it was sooooo easy to get that number because some people we couldn’t invite without inviting another person associated with that person.
Definitely with budgeting like with our caterer they told us that our guest count of 150 that we should budget for 135... because not everyone will come that we will invite. We are having a deadline and after that we will decide on who we are sending invites to for the b-list.
But according to our list be have already had Encounters with people that legit wanna be invited that we weren’t planning to invite ANNND people that we originally planned to invite started acting a little weird so they got X’d. This is definitely going to be a “we will see” type of thing when we start finalizing the save the dates.
But I’m with you on not sending save the dates to people that are “maybes” lol

View Quoted Comment Hey Lisa,


Definitely what we doing. Ppl found out we were in engaged at work. And a lot of people I don’t even deal with so I don’t need people even THINKING they getting any information. Lol
But I haven’t promised anybody anything. I don’t have a big family at all. So my side will mostly be close friends or 4th cousins removed lol.....
But we started and been adding and subtracting weekly. Lol

Make your list as soon as possible. You need it to be able to choose a venue that will work for your budget. You can always add people later on, and you can take people off as long as you didn't promise to invite them, but having a good idea of the number of people is essential, and it's hard to do that without a list. I wanted to invite around 120, but when we added everyone we felt we needed to invite it ended up at 160.

View Quoted Comment Gotcha. Definitely working on a list thanks

Immediately because you need to make sure the venue you select can accommodate the number of people you want to invite. You also need to make sure you can afford to host the number of people you want to invite. Caterers normally charge per person so the number of people will greatly effect your budget.

View Quoted Comment Yeah we have a venue already. Holds 300 we are having 150 .... list right now at 135. Which I’m good with. It’s like going to a restaurant and fronting the bill for 150 ppl at $30-$40 a person OH GOD LMAOOO. But yeah we can always cut down on ppl. We not inviting everybody we can think of because really I’m not in to feeding a gang of people who only there for a free meal and drinks lol

I'd say right away. We both made lists of people on our sides that we wanted there & then narrowed both down to those who meant more to us. Then we (by we, I mean ME lol) set up a wedding site where we could go through & add or delete people, but it's visible to both of us (we don't live together & I see him once every 2 weeks). When we booked our venue, we booked it for 60 & had the "definitely invited" list in mind when we did. We know we'll have at least 75-80 people by the time the wedding happens, but we've also been very strict about plus ones & who's actually getting an invite by the time we send those out. For us, basically those who get a STD will likely get an invite. All I say is make sure you will be able to afford the number of guests you plan on inviting & stick to your guns when it comes to anything like plus-ones or budget.

I absolutely think that’s one of the first things you should do that way you get a better idea of your budget and venue

View Quoted Comment Very smart. I’m just making sure we are not working backwards

View Quoted Comment “By we I mean me”.... I’m alll for it! Lol 😂 this is SO LIFE right now. OH NO MAAM I meant what I said a loooooooong time ago. Your name ain’t on the invite you are not invited. “INVITE ONLY” “ADULTS ONLY”.... if they not married or life long partners AINT no plus one! Lol 😂 names are PRE-printed on RSVPs honey. I’m serious about that. I shouldn’t have to scroll down my contact list to find “guests.” Lol

View Quoted Comment

I wish I had the energy to type names on RSVP's lmao but we already know who will end up bringing a plus-one & who won't. We're super specific with that: we have to know the person/of them by the time the invitations go out so this leaves out people bringing random guests with them at the last minute. So his own brother won't be able to bring a plus-one because he's fickle with his relationships & a new girl pops up every 6 months. My own sister likely won't be able to bring her bf if they're still on & off when the invitations go out, I told her this & while she was hurt, I had to explain that our venue charges per person & we don't have the extra funds to pay for everyone like that. I also placed this rule on our website so no one can say "I didn't know".

Guest list is the single biggest factor with the budget because it dictates so many things like venue size, amount of food, amount of alcohol, etc. We did our preliminary guest list before we booked our venue and after we did our budget. For us, this also meant asking both of our moms for their lists of family members to be sure we didn’t forget anyone important and could address any discrepancies that were purposeful. When we booked our venue, we were given the minimum and maximum number of guests for the reception space. We did have to adjust our list slightly a couple of times, but we’ve been sure to stay within those guidelines. Having the guest done right away has been super helpful, especially when it comes to staying within our budget.

View Quoted Comment Definitely. In an older forum I started I was getting backlash for that. Was told I can’t determine whether someone can come baSed on the type of relationship... UMMMM yes I can... our money... MY WEDDING... and I refuse to be trying to figure out random ppl in my wedding book lol. And not feeding strangers or ppl I know for sure are temporary lol

View Quoted Comment Smart smart. I guess I’ll work a little better with the guest list we have a venue picked but haven’t done catering or anything yet. We have time. Lol thanks for your reply

View Quoted Comment You have every right to dictate who you want there based on the relationship. Married couples are obvious and those who are very serious. I've never met my uncle's gf, but I've seen pictures and know they've been together for a while now so she's automatically included. You can't have someone who can't keep long relationships being able to have a plus-one b/c what if the relationship ends and you're stuck paying for an empty plate? I'm also making sure to let our guests know to tell us if they no longer have that extra person when they get the invitation so we don't accidentally include them.
Our venue will accommodate extra people but we're still coming out of pocket and I don't want to owe any money the day of. Weddings are expensive and some people don't understand not all of us have the extra funds to pay for everyone.

View Quoted Comment Yes ma’am because nothing we have is EXTRA. Me and my FH are the only ones putting in on this lol.... so I have no issue... married couple you invite one you invite both..... but the person you you JUST met can sit this one out. Link up after lol 😂 on and off stuff ion play that neither. One night stands that got pregnant NOPE ion care lmaooo ! I’m strict about it lol. We are in agreement especially when extra bodies come with a price tag. They could have a fight and the plus one decide they not going and I’m like ummmmmm lol 😂 ...

View Quoted Comment The extra bodies being price tags is exactly why FH told me he wanted to be specific about who got a plus-one. Married couples are one, long term are considered one for me, but if you just met 5 minutes ago then it's a no for me. I'd love to have people bring a date, but that would probably double our guest list and it would go from $5k to $7 or higher. We simply can't afford it.

View Quoted Comment Definitely. Because we will fight (not really) but y’all break up the day after. MAAM OR SIR I need a refund! Lol 😂