Guest list

I would say that consider who is there the most for you and who can you depend no matter what. If doing a small wedding maybe have an engagement party to invite more people with no gift expectations but some may be offended by that. Sorry you have to make that choice.

I just had this conversation with my boss last night and she gave me some great advice...

If you can't see yourself getting together at least once every month or every couple of months to have dinner at your home or theirs...don't invite them.

She said that she had a friend in her wedding party that would always go out with her for dinner or drinks, but when she was invited for a night in she would always have an excuse as to why she couldn't...less than 6 months after her wedding she and to this person stopped talking and she said she wishes she had thought more about who was always there, even if it was a boring night..instead of who was fun to go out with.

That's tough, but ultimately you have to decide who you are closest with. Is it one big friend group, or are there smaller friend group circles within that? You might be better off inviting 5 people who are all friends with each other, then you won't feel the need to give them a plus one. Otherwise, you could choose to keep it all family and not invite any friends, but that's tough too.

I really like this! My problem is that my fiance and I got engaged right after joining a new church, so we're getting to know all of these wonderful and amazing people who could potentially be in our lives for the rest of our lives, but it's too soon to really know.

If they have had an impact on your relationship (hopefully in a positive way), invite them! Try and narrow it down to the people you can't even imagine not having there.

Guest list Help:

Ok, you and your FH, his parents and yours( together or separately) all need to make the “A LIST”, “B LIST”, & “C LIST”.

“A LIST”= the people you cannot imagine your day without. These commonly include: Parents, Grandparents, Siblings, Aunts & Uncles...

”B LIST”= the people you want there to share the day, but won’t be heartbroken if they aren’t there. These include: Best Friend, Co-workers( close), Cousins/Second Cousins, Neighbors....

”C LIST”= the people that you’d like there if there’s space, and money, to include them. These include: Co-workers/boss, Friends that don’t fall into “A & B”, People you feel obligated to invite....

Once you all have made the lists it’s time to sit down together and look over them.

The names that are on all/several of your lists, like You & Your Parents have Grandma Jane, go into the “A LIST”. Then it is time to look at who has people that you feel matter.

Have a “MASTER LIST” and add the names that are duplicated first, then add the “B LIST” names and so on, until you reach the guest limit/no more names.

Also, you need to figure out if it’s an adults only, 16+ type or are children welcome? Then you need to factor in Plus Ones. And of kids are welcome than you need to add all of the kids who are eating solid food...

Good luck! Hope this helps!

The part of together or separately after parents is that a lot of times it makes sense to have each parent do a list vs them do a combined list.

As with my FH, since we are both older adults( 40 me, 52 him) his mom doesn’t really get that huge a say, but we will take into account some of the people she wants.

FH is a high end lawyer so there will be former clients and other attorneys as well as judges and political people there( sigh! 200+)- But most of those fall into the “C LIST”( at least where I am hoping they do lol!)