Guest list

We invited 285, we knew about 100 would decline (due to travel and it being during the school year) we ended up with 160 exactly.

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I imagine that the 100 guests will change for us. We are not sure what the final number will be for the wedding.

I wanted to go to the court house and get married with out immediate families, 3 on his and 3 on mine. Then I started talking to my grandma and she told me how she didn’t think I should do it and I should have something where other people could be there (which is the exact opposite of what I wanted). Of course I took this into consideration bc she’s my grandma! And I’d love for her to see me get married. So we compromised on a small ceremony. I didn’t want to exclude my extended family so we’re having a big reception for everyone. If anyone asks me I’ll be honest and say I get anxiety, but honestly it’s up to you! You are the bride! I’ve had to tell myself this so many times to avoid people trying to push their ideas and suggestions on me.

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Hi Michelle,

I too wanted to go to the court house to get married but my fiance' said that he wanted a real wedding with 100 guests. I started out at 50 but I do have a large family & I didn't want to exclude anyone so the count changed to 100. My fiance' is from Jamaica so he has family that will be attending. So now hotel rooms and travel arrangements will have to be included in the planning. I too have anxiety so I'm praying that I will be ok standing in front of a lot of people. Lol. My sister lives for planning weddings & I'm definitely accepting the help & advice. Right now I have a total of 13 tables to fill & I have to be mindful that I sit the appropriate people at the right table. Lol. Our relationship has been long distance for some time due to Covid & a lot of the planning is done so far. We just bounce different ideas around & no decision is made unless we both agree. My fiance' is really hands on with the planning and that has really helped me a lot. We have everything picked out right down to the cake & wedding favors. The honeymoon has been decided also which a carribean cruise for a week. The wedding is 6/18/2023. We do have lots to take care of but I feel like we are on the right track. I refuse to go over 100 guests. Lol

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Hi Ashlee,

I'm thinking that out of the 100 guests maybe 75 are going to attend. However, since my fiance' is from Jamaica that number may increase to about 150. The wedding is 6/18/2023 so the number may increase.

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Definitely the marriage is about family. It is a good or happy occasion in many people's eyes ... sort of new hope. And right. Grandparents normally like to see this happen. So it helps to look beyond oneself when doing a wedding. But then it can be difficult to keep the size down in many situations.

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I agree. I look at is as a new beginnig for us as well as a chance for both families to celebrate together. I really don't want any animosity coming from anyone who feels that they were left out. usually the groom is the one who would suggest a getting married at the course house and the bride wants the big wedding but for us it was the other way around. I wanted to go to the court house but my fiance' said no he wanted a big wedding. Lol. I understand because he does have family in Jamaica that he wants to invite.

We both would've been okay with 100 or less, but after writing down just family we were nearly there, so we had to go over. We invited 168 with the expectation that 12 would say no, and ended up with 125 saying yes, which is pretty good.

Both of our moms have been upset that we're not inviting more people, but at the end of the day it's our wedding and we chose like the very least amount of people we could invite. I'd start by writing down all of the people you can't imagine your day without and going from there.

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Hi Jessi that's a good idea writing down the people that I can't imagine my day without. I'm pretty sure that there will be family members that I haven't seen in years that will be expecting an invite. We are going to do our best to keep it at 100 & if that number increases hopefully it won't be by much.

We invited 175 and had 140 RSVP yes. You can set boundaries such as no inviting anyone you haven't talked to in over a year, or if you haven't seen them since before COVID. That will help keep your numbers reasonable. If someone doesn't make the cut, you don't need to "break the news" or announce it to them. Not everyone gets invited to every wedding and a reasonable person will understand (especially if you're not that close).

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I'm definitely going to set boundaries. You gave me some really good ideas think about & discuss with my fiance'.

I've been to some cousins' weddings. It was nice going to them but I would not have felt left out if I had not been invited. We had not been close growing up. Some people just go because it is an event.

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I do have cousins that i'm not close to but it's some cousins that I am close to so it will be like why did she invite you & not me. Lol. At the end of the day our wedding is about us and not trying to make everyone happy. I think that's were a lot of stress comes into play for most brides. When you focuse on making everyone happy you lose focus on what's really important.

I had to do this. It was hard. I invited only some coworkers but not others. I could only invite certain family members and not all. It came down to people I see the most and have the best relationships with. I just hoped people would understand that if they don’t have a great relationship with me and someone else does, that’s the reason why. I asked people who know all of the possible people I considered inviting who they thought would want to come or actually show up and that helped me choose. When people started declining and more spots opened up, I was able to invite some people I. originally didn’t plan on—simply so they wouldn’t feel left out. So some people got an invite a few weeks after others. I also had married people that I knew would be fine without a plus 1 to free up space for more guests. If they were going to have friends there and they told me they would be perfectly fine coming without their partner who I’ve never met. I know it’s a little unconventional, but I was able to include a lot more people this way

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I think that I'm going to use some of your ideas pertaining to the guest list. There are so many friends and family members that I haven's sen or heard from in years so I really don't think that they willl make the cut. We are going to focuse on the friends and family members that mean the most to us to share in our special day. I might invite a few coworkers also.

We went in wanting a wedding of 120-125 max. My parents advised that we invite more as many would decline an out of state wedding on a Friday. We invited 170 and I'm happy we did because our final count is 123! Exactly what we wanted. We had a few people upset about not being invited ironically they were the ones we barely have any contact with in the first place lol so it was easy to explain to them that we didn't want a big wedding and had to cut our list down.

When we picked our guest list we imagined the day and thought about the people we couldn't imagine not being there they made the list first then we added a few here and there.

Best of luck!

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Hi Nicole we are basically going to invite the ones who mean the most to us. I'm pretty sure that it will be friends and family members that are going to be upset with us. At the end of the day it's all about what we want. I'm willing to go a little higher than 100 guests maybe like 125 guests. Of cours I need to speak with my fiance' to see what he wants to do. He does have a lot of relatives in Jamaica that he wants to invite. With that being said we have to figure out the logistics regarding hotel stays and making sure that everyone has accommodations getting to and from the venue. We do pretty good as a team figuring everything out.

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I think everything will work out just fine! If you have loads of family and friends who wont be able to come maybe consider livestreaming the wedding so they can still witness your ceremony.

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That's a good idea. My niece live streamed her wedding last year and I was able to watch it since I wasn't able to attend. I see that your big day is approaching & are you ready for it?

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Hey Michael someone gave me the idea to live stream the wedding for those who won't ne in attendance. I think that I am going to talk to my fiance' about it.