Guest List

You have to be blunt and firm. Enlist fiancé to back you up and get practice in now setting and maintaining boundaries as a unit with consequences. If she is adding people to the guest list, she will not stop there and will continue with making decisions on your lives in general. Unless you and fiancé maintain boundaries.

Your fiance could reply to her with something along the lines of, "We've already sent out our invitations to our finalized guest list and communicated our estimated guest count to our venue, so we unfortunately cannot accommodate your request to add more people."

At this point you just have to be straight forward. Either you or your fiance need to say "The invitations have already been sent out and we already gave our venue an estimated head count. Our list is finalized."

I can't believe she is trying to add people this close to it.

Just be blunt, tell her the list is finalized and you cannot invite more people at this point.

I'd tell your fiance to deal with it. Tell him to tell her that the guest list has been finalized and therefore no more people will be added.

View Quoted Comment

This is what I would do

View Quoted Comment

This is perfect wording!

Agreed with the others, you just need to be firm.

When you asked her to reconfirm her original list and you allowed her to add more guests, you opened up the doorway for her to keep adding people. If you didn't give her a firm deadline then ("Hi FMIL, I just wanted to double check that this list you originally gave me is still correct. We are sending out invitations soon and need a finalized guest list, so this is the last opportunity for you to change who you may want to include"), she may simply not understand that your inquiry wasn't an open invitation to keep changing her invite list, and may just need to be told that that time has past and no further changes can be made.

You have to be blunt and firm///

From what I am reading you didn't tell her how many people to invite. So it wouldn't be a problem for you to explain that how much money it will cost for all the people that she would like to invite to your wedding, and also let her know your head count.