Guest list woes

I think if your mother is contributing financially, inviting her 6 friends isn't going to be the end of the world. If you're fine with losing her financial support, stand your ground.

If your mom is willing to pay the extra $1,000, I would do it (if it were me). Then you can invite a few more people and not feel so restricted. I doubt every single person you invite will be able to attend anyway so you might end up under 100 with inviting the extra people.

I would go with adding the 6 people. There may very well be a possibility that 6 of the people on your 99 person list may not be able to make it. I would just do it to mainly cut down the stress and tension with your mother.

Since your parents are contributing financially and plan on paying for those 6 people, then there really is no reason not to invite them. Honestly, you most weddings don't have a 100% acceptance rate so you could still end up under 100 people. We invited 140 people and only had 90 people say they would attend and then only like 82 actually ended up attending.

I would just let them invite their people. But I do understand what you mean by not wanting a big wedding and not wanting to see so many people you don't know. Half of my wedding were literally guests of our parents and so honestly... I just let the parents deal with them. I went around saying hi thanks for coming because that's courteous to do but it was my parents really going around and hosting them. I was socializing with the guests I invited. That way i didn't feel so overwhelmed in needing to absolutely socialize with everyone

At the end of the day it's your wedding am8d your decision should be final. regardless if ya mom wanna pay the extra you dont need the extra stress from her or anyone else who wants to be invited. Make a decision about what you want not want other people want it's about you not them.

I agree with PPs here. It's generally understood that if parents contribute financially, they get to have some say over the guest list, meaning, if mom wants 6 of her friends there, and is willing to pay for the overage, she gets to invite them. It is your wedding, but 1/3 of the cost (what you said she was contributing) is pretty significant, even for a low-budget wedding.

On the other hand, you have very valid points: your social anxiety, FHs desire to have only your nearest and dearest there on your day. I'm wondering if there is some middle ground, some compromise you could come to on this issue. If not, you really only have two choices: accept the financial contribution, and let her have her 6 guests, or decline any financial help, pay for the whole thing yourselves, and then you can invite just the 100 from your list. Tell mom, sorry, no thanks. The upside to compromising? You have more spots to invite more of your friends.

For me, it would be a pretty easy decision. I mean, with 100 other people there, are you or FH really going to be bothered by 6 extra people? And I'm assuming mom will be much happier on the day if some of her closest friends are there. Things to consider.

Because your mom is willing to foot their bills, I'd invite her six friends. She's paying, so she has a say

I would let mom invite the 6 as long as she know it may end up costing $1000 more. 6 other people or more will likely not be able to attend so I doubt that will be an issue. Your feeling are valid, your FH'S feelings are valid, and your mom's feelings are also valid. It is a nice way to be accommodating to her for sharing the cost of the wedding.

$1000 seems like a lot of money for just six people. If your guest list is at 99, I would just invite the six because it’s very rare to have everyone attend. However, keep in mind that those extra people will also need invitations, favors, etc, and will cost more than just the venue.

Let your mom pay the extra $1000, let her pay for her six friends. I understand your hubby's thinking on wanting to know everyone there but you two will be so busy you won't notice. I understand guest list drama - it is easier to settle the war in Syria than settle a guest list!

I’m not big on “B” lists, but maybe have your moms friends on the back burner Incase you get some no’s?

Im the only child and my parents are helping us out, but I made it clear from the beginning that certain things aren’t going to fly. FH and I did compromise on some aspects, but we were adamant that we wanted it small and my parents respected that. Heck I didn’t even invite my father’s entire side of the family and if I could have gotten away with not inviting some of my moms sisters I would have. Call me a jerk, but it’s a celebration with the people who mean something to you, not a celebration with the people who mean something to you and their friends and their friends significant other.

If you really want it to be who is special to you then maybe you need to talk to you mom about what you really want and that you feel really bad but this is what you and your fiance really want. If you can wait til you get your rsvp and see how many say no then you can invite them. That way you can still keep it low and make your mom happy. I personally would explain it to my mom and tell her I would put them on the B-list if someone cant come. This is a hard situation to walk around. You dont want to have regrets later in life.

If your mom is covering a fair cost, then it isn't unreasonable of her to want her friends. Could you get her to pay for the six extra people? Could you find a compromise, three or four instead of six, or something like that, or put them on the B list?