Guest List Stress

Can't help don't know wedding date.

By the way, the wedding is on May 14, 2016 and the venue holds 140, so that shouldn't be an issue but it's getting close.

If you don't want to be part of your family's circus, don't let them pay.

They are paying nearly 1/2 of the bill I would let them have say on a few guests. They need to stop verbally inviting people. Someone needs to have a conversation with them. I would also be frustrated.

When you agreed to take their money, you agreed to their guest list. Your wedding is too close now for you to change your mind. You'll have to chalk this up to a lesson learned unless you want to cancel the whole shebang and start all over completely on your own.

I do understand that they should be able to invite people when they're paying so much, it's just hard to know where to draw the line. I've only invited 3 friends and their dates and my parents have many friends coming. We're paying for 40% of the wedding too and it's frustrating that it doesn't feel like ours anymore.

As long as they are paying for these extra people there's nothing you can do, unfortunately. I can understand the frustration, maybe you need to tell them the ground rules you and your FH had set, and if they decide to break them it's their price to pay

I agree, they should have a little bit of a say on who to invite since they are paying for almost half the wedding. But you can always try and sit down with them and explain that this is getting out of hand for you, and that it's not how you envisioned your day with all these people. As for you cousin bringing his girlfriend, I say absolutely not. Especially if you have never met her. It can't be that serious if they are in high school. lol

That's super frustrating. My parents are paying for 75% of the wedding and they also keep adding more guests once they find out that someone else can't make it. I keep trying to explain that we want to have a smaller wedding too (100 people is our goal), but they just don't seem to understand. Since they're paying for almost everything that's affected by the total number of guests, I've just more or less given up arguing. We'll say hi to all the people we don't really know at the wedding, but I fully plan on dancing the night away with my closest friends.

Ha also my mom keeps running into parents of people that I used to be friends with in middle school and high school and she even went as far as to invite someone that I literally have not talked to in 8 years. The invite was verbal between my mom and his mom so I don't think we have to follow through, but still!!

I would have a talk with them about your concerns with your guest list exceeding the amount of people allowed at your venue space. Otherwise, if they are paying for all of the extra people you can't really say no...

I would set a solid guest list, either typed or written out and get your invites sent. Once that is done things should be set in stone.

A conversation needs to be had with your parents regarding the size of the venue. Given that your wedding is just under 2 months away, there's no option to change. They need to respect the size of the space and reign it in.

You MUST talk to your parents about the realities of headcounts, cost per head, etc. Have you sent out invitations yet? Are they actually giving you the info for all these people they're verbally inviting?Make them understand that if you don't have a record of that person attending, they won't be in the headcount you give the venue. As in, there will be no place for them to sit or food for them to eat! Won't she be embarrassed then?

If you get your mother to do the math on all these fun verbal invites, maybe that will slow her down ("Mom, make me a list of all the people you've told they could come. Now multiply that by $X. (cue gasp of horror at big dollar amount) We can't afford that, so are you going to cough it up, or tell those people you were wrong?")

I think if they are going to keep inviting people, they need to contribute to those extra plates, favors, etc. That's not fair to invite all of those extra people and expect you to pay for it.

This exact same thing happened to me. It's YOUR WEDDING. Don't let anyone bully you into doing anything else you're not ok with. That is my only regret up to this point because my entire wedding planning has been about everyone except for me. Put your foot down girl!