Guest List Stress

Tell her she has X number of seats and if she wants more than that, it is $X per additional guest.

Have your FI tell her. It's his Mom. Give her a number of guests that she can invite. Do not tell her she can pay for extra guests. There are always other expenses besides what the caterer charges per person. You would need extra tables, chairs, linens, centerpieces, candles, china, cutlery and glassware- perhaps even a larger venue.

Agreed with PP that this is on your FH to handle.

I would also say that you should have a chat with your FH about the list. Sounds like you are trying to solve the problem by limiting your own list, but that shouldn’t be the case. If you must invite all of his family, at the very least you should both have an even number of friends. Don’t forget yourself and what you want.

Ah, that is different. Do you think you can get the guest list sorted before he leaves? If not, you might have some success by explaining to FMIL what you have to pay per person. And not just the food, add up all of the costs and divide by 75. My FMIL had all sorts of people she wanted to invite, but she got married 35 years ago and everything was a lot cheaper then. If you’re not comfortable talking numbers with her, you can just say that you can only afford 75 and x guests will be from your side. She can cut it down from there.

Is she paying? If not, you are not obligated to "give" her any seats. Does your venue have a cap? If so, I would blame that. Otherwise, just tell her you want to keep it small. If you tell her it is a $ issue, she could offer to pay. If you are OK with that, then of course feel free to use that as your reason.

Be firm, do not allow her to invite her own guests. We paid for our wedding, we had to cap at fifty for both venue and reception. Where do these moms get the idea that they can invite so many people?

100 more people? Good gosh - that is twice the amount we had at our wedding!!! LOL!