Guest list - should all family be invited?

Typically you'd start with your immediate family which includes parents, siblings, their spouses, and their children (if you plan on having children at the wedding that is), and grandparents. If parents/grandparents are divorced you'd want to invite their spouse/significant others as well. Then most people also invite aunts and uncles. If would make sure you invite all aunts and uncles because if you invite some but not others that will quickly lead to family drama. We also invited first cousins as long as they were 18+ as we didn't include children at our wedding and some of my husband's cousins were under 18.

View Quoted Comment Ok thank you for your feedback!

Usually it's best to invite in "circles" of closeness to you. So if you invite 2 aunts, it's best to invite them all. Same with cousins etc. Exceptions do apply depending your own family dynamics of course.

Only you and fiancé can decide who is invited. Can you get together with parents and arrange a family reunion picnic at another time that everyone contributes to so that you don’t have to feel obligated to invite relatives you don’t have a close relationship with?


It’s a super popular opinion to say “invite immediate family only” or “invite in circles working outward and don’t invite extended family” but that doesn’t work for everyone. Many people, for reasons they don’t need to divulge, don’t have a relationship with parents/siblings or they may be closer to extended family. When that is the case, it doesn’t help them because they already feel like outcasts for not being “normal” like those around them who have “perfect” relationships with parents and siblings. Why spend money on people you don’t care about or barely know because they are part of a “circle” and to make someone else happy? It’s common for people to have a relationship with 1 aunt/uncle out of 3 or 4 couples, but they are pressured to invite them anyway, including in WW replies, over an extended cousin they are closer to because it doesn’t fit the “norm”. Also, it’s equally common to invite relatives that the couple has zero relationship with to please parents or someone else and they are told to not invite closest friends, who may be closer than their own relatives are.
There are no rules at the end of the day beyond invite who you want and don’t invite who you don’t. What works for other people is not what works for your situation.

We are not inviting all family members. We just kind of did people who we are close to. It was easy for me because I have a small extended family, or they're people I've never even met. It was more difficult for my husband since he has a really large extended family, but we decided that if he didn't talk to them outside of family holidays or hadn't seen them in a few years, or just didnt like them they werent invited. For example, we invited his aunt and step-uncle, but not all of the step kids because he doesnt know them at all. We didnt invite 2 of his uncles because they are currently involved in some pretty bad stuff in their lives and we don't want that at our wedding.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!

Honesly it’s your choice I’m not inviting half my family and half his family isn’t invited it will cause drama and overall we are not family people 😂

It's your choice, but as long as you don't have a beef with them, it would be nice to invite your family members. I'm inviting pretty much all of mine.