Guest list! Problems

My FH had this issue as well. He would invite the world if he could, but we cut our list to 60ish guests.
Here's a few things we did and questions that were asked. Split your list into absolute must haves and acquaintances. If their feelings didn't matter, would you still invite them? If you haven't talked to them in two years, do they really need to be invited? If they haven't met your FH, do they really need to be invited? Do you see yourself having a relationship with this person 5 years from now?
My FH started to realize he has a whole bunch of acquaintances and distant family and not everyone had to be at our wedding. Also, not everyone has to have a plus one unless they're married, in a serious relationship, etc. To the people we did cut out, we just say because of covid, we had to reduce our list to mainly include intermediate family and our bridal party and we sent out a link for them to virtually attend the ceremony if they choose to. Just remember feelings will likely be hurt no matter what, but if you want your wedding to go on, this is a must-do task!

View Quoted Comment All great advice I totally appreciate it! I will definitely re do my list and for those who can't make it I hope they really understand. If not they will when they have to plan a wedding during a pandemic.

Don’t start with a list and cut it down, start with a blank piece of paper and begin again. Start with the absolute must-haves - immediate family members, bridal party, closest friends. If, when you’ve written all those people down, you still have spaces, move to the next circle - not-quite-so-close friends, not immediate family members and so on. If you still have space after that, go to the next circle. When you reach 40 people, stop there!

Make a list of your must have people. No plus ones. Plus ones are strangers, not their significant others.

Both of us agreed to only invite people that we have both met and speak to on a regular basis. If we don't talk at the very least once a month we probably aren't super close to you. It was easiest to start with a blank slate vs using a list and crossing off names. We also asked ourselves, "why do they want to go to the wedding? To celebrate, criticize, boast that they went when others weren't invited?". Good luck with your list!

Keeping it adults only & removing kids is another way to get your guest list down!

View Quoted Comment Thank yall for responding! When i began planning, location, location! Was first on my mind. Ohh and my dress! I come from a big Hispanic family. Near and far we are all the same with strong personalities. I would love for everyone to be apart of our big day but reality is i don't speak or see most of them. Most importantly we have to remember we are still dealing with this pandemic and yeah my big day isn't til 1/22 things could get better but we still aren't in the clear. We have our venue picked out , so the time has come to make that list. I was kinda hoping it would magically create itself, yeah i know that's not how it works. I'll keep yall posted on how well it works for us with all the great advice that was given. Again ladies thanks for the help. Having no plus ones for those who are single is a great idea, It'll definitely bring my GL down. Asking my guest not to bring kids is a bit of a tough one. How do I respectfully ask for no children when I'll be having 2 flower girls (twins) and a ring bearer.

It's hard to find that balance. We only had a limit of 50 so 25 each. Mine is 27 and his is 23 I think (didn't really count). We had to compromise a bit with my mom so people that weren't so close in my FH family went. It's a tough decision and we just kept it to family. No friends. And everyone so far has been understanding especially cause of covid. But because of covid and my family all coming from out of the state, I have had to deal with the fact that most won't come. It's hard that all my FH family lives local and it's something I thought I wouldn't worry about. Not how I pictured my big day but having my sisters, parents and his family (who I'm close with) there is better than nothing. I hope everything works out for you!

The biggest thing is to get past thinking this is your one and only big party ever. Family you don't often see, plan a cookout that is more a family reunion of one side at a time, after you are married. Or a seasonal or holiday gathering. Once weddings get larger than a certain size, you have little time to talk to or see people.. There are advantages to smaller weddings more than cost.

Our guest list was over 100. We recently pushed our date from 8/15/21 to 12/08/21. Due to restrictions, either date meant cutting our list down to around 30 people. My FH and I both have big families so this was a hard decision. We have narrowed it down to under 40 and ask that anyone who can't make it let us know ASAP since we have a lot of people who didn't make the final list. Mainly we invited family.