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Kimberly
Expert October 2020

Guest List Help

Kimberly, on September 16, 2020 at 11:24 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 25
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Like many brides on here one of the frustrating things is getting people to RSVP. Right now I have 40 people unresponsive to calls, emails, texts on whether they are coming to our wedding next month. Once we are past the final guest count deadline, how would you all handle guests sending in RSVPs after that point or just showing up to the venue? Should we plan for extra tables just in case? I always joked I wanted to put a line on the invitation that said “if you don’t RSVP by [date] bring a sandwich and a chair” but both fiancé and both mothers had me remove it. Now I wish I kept it on there 😅 Thoughts and suggestions?

25 Comments

Latest activity by Kara, on September 19, 2020 at 10:59 AM
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
    • Flag
    I would send them one more message after the deadline has passed to give them a few more days to reply, stating that if you do not hear from them by [date], you will be counting them as not attending. Otherwise, are you able to see any of them in-person and get a response that way? If you wanted to, you could add a couple extra to the final count and have a few extra spots available just in case, but I personally wouldn't.
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    So everyone has a different way of doing it.

    i personally did not do extra seating. i had extra seats here and there but it was more like 9/10 seats at a table were filled so whomever extra did just show up could just take those seats but if i ran out then oh wells.

    however i have seen my friends literally just have an extra table or two just in case. i've seen some of my friends who did that, have them filled! and i've seen some where the extra tables were never used at all [which was a waste because he had to pay for those to begin with]

    i personally feel like if they didn't have the courtesy to even give you a heads up even after your following up, then i would not get any extra seating, especially if it would cost you extra.

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  • Madelin
    Devoted November 2020
    Madelin ·
    • Flag
    Hi Kimberly,
    It really depends on your catering situation. Today I called mine and they said that they will charge extra if more people showed up than the number I give them (which is due 7 days before the wedding).
    A couple of days ago I made a Facebook group and added everyone I invited to the wedding. Giving them the option to virtually RSVP prompted some to go ahead and do so. If these people are unresponsive, I think they are unsure because of COVID-19. I would wait until you have to turn in all the info to all the vendors. If you haven't heard by then, I would leave it as is and count them as no's. Hope this helps.
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  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha ·
    • Flag

    I Would Wait A Little Longer And Then Send Out One More Notification Stating That If You Do Not Receive An RSVP, They Will Be Counted As "Declined Invitation." People Should Be More Considerate When It Comes To This. Ive Had Issues As Well.

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  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    I would send a text or call them a day or 2 after your RSVP's are due. If you had your RSVP's returned via USPS, there might be a delay in the mail system. If you still do not get a response after calling/texting, I would call/text again saying you are sorry they can't make it.

    I would not have extra tables or chairs. You should not have to spend extra money and take up space because people can't act like adults and RSVP on time. I would just have a seating chart so everyone who did RSVP has a seat.

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  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    I would send them a final text and say that you put them down as a no since you have not heard from them.

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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    I totally second this strategy!
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  • Kimberly
    Expert October 2020
    Kimberly ·
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    Unfortunately we don’t have opportunities to see anyone right now due to covid and the stay home stay safe orders. Fiancé and I are working from home now and haven’t seen anyone outside of family since before February. I’ll keep trying to get in touch and try and rope in the moms and fiancé to help from another source.
    • Reply
  • Lisa
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa Online ·
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    That makes sense. Getting your mom to help out is a great idea, they might respond to her!
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  • Teresa
    Devoted October 2020
    Teresa ·
    • Flag

    We decided that we wouldn't reach out to them. I know that is not "normal" but it was less headache for us and we had enough RSVP that we didn't want to push for others to come.

    • Reply
  • Neeva
    VIP September 2020
    Neeva ·
    • Flag

    Yeah I'm the same as Teresa. I didn't reach out to anyone who didn't bother to RSVP unless they were my close friends or family. Everyone else was an assumed no and I had no one additional show up on the day of, actually had a few no shows so would have had extra seating if needed.

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  • Samantha
    Devoted September 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    I tracked down a lot of people and my husband called each individual and just stated we need to know a final guest count. I only had 2 people who never responded and left me on read. I removed them from the guest list entirely. I probably would be upset if they showed up even tho they ignored me Smiley ups

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  • Private User
    Dedicated September 2020
    Private User ·
    • Flag
    I had about 30 - 40 people not RSVP either even after the cut off date. I only had 88 people confirm so I told my caterer 100 people. I am going to have an extra table or two in case extra people do show up. I'm making a seating chart with name tags. Those who didn't have RSVP, it says " I didn't RSVP but I showed up anyways" table 20. They will be the last tables called to go get food, if there are any left overs 🤣
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  • S
    Savvy October 2020
    Sarah ·
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    I giggled at this one... love it!

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  • Virginia
    Beginner October 2020
    Virginia ·
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    We had a few of those. Fortunately, they were guest that a) we didn't really want there and were forced to invite, b) live pretty far away, and c) aren't even slightly close with. With COVID restrictions in our state, we ordered absolutely nothing extra, so if they do end up showing up, too bad for them. It's so amazing to me that people can't do better. Good luck!!

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  • Vicky
    Super January 2020
    Vicky ·
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    What if their RSVP got lost in the mail? It happens more often than you might guess.

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  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    Take them as a no if youve tried to reach out multiple times. Some people are terrible at confrontation and would rather ignore you than say no unfortunately. If youve reached out twice already, thats enough
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  • L
    Expert September 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    Also most people not to show up to a wedding if they didnt RSVP, especially if you already tried to reach out to them. I wouldnt plan on accommodating anyone who might show up though, just let your venue coordinator know not to let in any extra people. But really..who does that? 😂
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  • Teresa
    Devoted October 2020
    Teresa ·
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    I’m sure that does happen, we’ve thought about that and came up with a plan that works well for us. We planned on 80 max and so far we have 66 confirmed; either through the RSVP’s or the one Facebook post the FH and I made. We will have plenty of food and drinks for the ones who forgot to send or lost in mail. But otherwise, we just don’t want to bother, hound, or pressure anyone to come. Especially in 2020, I truly wouldn’t want them to reluctantly travel or be in a crowd for our wedding if they aren’t comfortable with it yet.
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  • Teresa
    Devoted October 2020
    Teresa ·
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    Lol that’s exactly how I feel about them not responding, who does that?!?
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