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Savvy January 2023

Guest list help!

cdelray, on August 10, 2019 at 1:36 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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Hi everyone, I’m looking to get some input on a somewhat difficult situation. Very, very long story short.. my mother passed away when I was 12 and I am considering inviting some of her (our) family friends from back in the day. ONLY PROBLEM: my grandfather and these said friends do not get along at all. There was actually some legal stuff that went down. But here’s another thing to note, my fiancé and I are paying for our DW by ourselves, no help from anyone, no support from my side of the family (they don’t even truly take our relationship of almost 7 years seriously). So it is wrong of me to invite these old friends (that still check up on me on social media and who I used to spend most of my childhood days around) even though it could potentially make some of my family members (who really aren’t that supportive of me) livid? I really need help because I don’t want to add fire to an old conflict but I also feel sad not inviting them bc I know they would LOVE to watch me walk down the aisle. Side, side note: they all love and support my relationship with my fiancé.

Thanks everyone! Looking forward to hearing some opinions on this matter

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Dayna, on August 12, 2019 at 3:24 PM

Master September 2020
Jessica · on August 10, 2019 at 1:51 PM
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My personal opinion is that people can get over their issues for one day to support you. They don’t need to speak to each other or even see each other other than at wedding events. It would hurt me to not include people I love who love me just because someone else might get mad, and I’d be pretty blunt about that with my family. Their all adults, they can act like it or not come in my opinion.
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Savvy January 2023
cdelray · on August 10, 2019 at 1:54 PM
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Thank you! I feel this way too and completely agree with what you said. This makes me feel a lot better
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VIP June 2019
Formerbride · on August 10, 2019 at 1:56 PM
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Invite who you want! Travelling for a DW is a big task, so they may not come anyway. Have you expressed these feelings to you family that does not care for them?
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Savvy January 2023
cdelray · on August 10, 2019 at 2:24 PM
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That’s what I’m thinking too and I’d rather ask and have them decline than not ask at all. And no, it’s kind of a hush hush topic. My family would probably lecture me for an hour straight about how I could ever think of inviting them....lol.... it’s tough situation bc my family is difficult to begin with lol
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 10, 2019 at 2:34 PM
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I would be very selective on who you invite to your DW. Keep it with only people who love and support you and FH, especially if you're the ones paying for everything!
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Devoted September 2019
Farrah · on August 10, 2019 at 2:43 PM
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I think you’ve already made up your mind, so you should stick with it! I have family with current feuds and their all invited. Honestly it’s your day, and if you want someone there you should invite them! Good luck!
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Super February 2020
Alyrae · on August 10, 2019 at 10:08 PM
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I would invite them.... if u want them invite them .... if they r more supportive of your relationship invite them
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Expert October 2017
Florida Marlins · on August 11, 2019 at 1:30 PM
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Invite everyone you want - if they get into a tussle they will be asked to leave. If they can't get over a fued from way back (or even last year) that is THEIR problem, not yours!!
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Dedicated May 2020
Abigail · on August 11, 2019 at 6:22 PM
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If they are the people that you imagine seeing you walk down the aisle with happy tears in their eyes then 1000% invite them. It is your wedding and your moment and if you know they support and love you then you will want them there.
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Expert September 2021
Dayna · on August 12, 2019 at 3:24 PM
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I think if people love and support you and you want them to celebrate with you, you should invite them! My suggestion would be to make a seating chart and keep feuding sides separate, and it should all be okay. FHs parents hate (HATE) each other, but they made it through one night of his brother's wedding (by just avoiding each other completely). I expect they will do the same for us.
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